QISE Review - Day 12

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Wednesday--346 hours so far.

• Finishing out gymnastics
  • The commentators noted that the Chinese in their training have their girls stand on tip toe on the Balance Beam for five minutes, and simulate the lighting at the actual event. Any reason the US can't do that, or are they too busy checking their make-up?
  • The thrill of--paperwork? Aly Raisman got the bronze on Balance Beam after an inquiry was made. I love how the coach had to beg for a pen in order to fill out the form--for lack of a nail...
  • Of course, Raisman made up for it with a gold in the Floor Exercise
• It's fun when an athlete doesn't follow the narrative NBC came up with before the games. Lolo Jones from the 100m hurdles was to follow a) athlete overcomes adversity, wins or b) athlete is gracious about losing. Instead, on the Today show, she chose c) athlete whines and cries about losing.
• It's QISE TO THE EXTREME with the BMX Cycling event--clearly trying to bring in a bit of the X-Games audience

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 11

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Tuesday--321 hours so far.

• I'm really leaning on the fast forward button to get through all the coverage--thank goodness for handball, volleyball, water polo...
• Gymnastics notes
  • I find the uneven bars event to be much more fun if you make comedy "I'm out of control" noises while they do it (whoa--WHOOA--whoo)
  • NBC, in an attempt to make the scoring more comprehensible, added "stoplights" (red/yellow/greed) next to the score. Unfortunately, they don't set them consistently, so the commentators need to explain it anyway
  • Another performance by Viktoria Komova, the "Crying Russian". When she finished an event, it looked like someone had just kicked her puppy.
  • "Boy did I get that wrong" - Tim Daggett, when Arthur Zanetti of Brazil won the rings event after he had just talked about another competitor winning in a repeat
• Kirani James is why the QISE exists. First medal winner ever from Grenada (Gold in the 400m sprint), and a class act--he traded name tags with Oscar Pistorius after their heat.
• What did TV use to fill up QISE coverage before Beach Volleyball? The "uniforms" they wear can only keep your attention for so long.

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 10

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Monday--293 hours so far.

• First off, my notes this week will most likely be truncated. I had the chance to be on a staycation last week, so I had plenty of time to review the coverage. I'm back to work now, so I'll compress my reviews into a few hours each night.
• After the nightly Tivo reboot, I finished up last night's coverage. I'm getting tired of this, as I am of the gymnastics theme they keep playing (dum-dum-dum-de-dum).
• They also dug up the "Matrix" effect so they could show the gymnastic vaults in 360 degrees
• The 4 stages of grief for NBC gymnastics - "She's absolutely going to win", "Absolutely shocking", "Stunning gold", "This truly is unbelievable"
• The Canada-US soccer match went all the way to the end of second extended time period to finish up.  I managed to see most of it, including the final score by the US.
• Mary Carillo had another fascinating background piece on England tonight--this one covered the Greenwich Meridian Line and the British observatory there. NBC News should use her--or I'm sure they need analysts for the NBC Sports Network?

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 9

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Sunday--265 hours so far.

• Another day, another Tivo overnight crash. At least I caught it earlier this time.
• Back at Track and Field--in a bit of British whimsy, a mini-Mini Cooper RC car is used to return the discuses (disci?) back to the starting point
• Clearly, the home team advantage in QISE is real--how else would you explain how Murray dismantled Federer in men's tennis?
• NBC prepped the audience for tonight's women's gymnastics with a short film on Olga Korbut. You can't overestimate how her performance in the 1972 Muinch games transformed the sport.
• I can't separate the synchronized swimming event from the SNL film with Shearer, Short, and Guest (see the video above--we'll see how long before Kabletown pulls it). NBC has added a camera trick to show the competitors above and below the water at the same time, which helps a lot.
• I'm wondering how QISE events are scheduled--in some cases, they are stacked on top of each other, while others have days between them. For example, Murray had an hour between his singles and mixed doubles gold medal tennis matches (each of which take hours to complete), while synchronized swimming has a day scheduled between their 2 1/2 minute routines.
• Prime time begins with a 30 minute interview between Costas and Phelps. Much of this was shown last night, so I'm guessing that NBC assumed the 7-8p block would be soft in terms of ratings.
• I think the whole evening is lacking for major events--perhaps why we also get a Mary Carillo report on James Bond (followed by a Skyfall ad--it's all about synergy).

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 8

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Saturday--235 hours so far.

• Speaking of the Tivo--another crash last night, about 10 minutes after I stopped for the night. Got it working again this morning, but I missed the last 90 minutes from prime time, plus late night and early NBCSN coverage. So, what did I miss?
  • The women's 800m freestyle swimming final, with 15-tear old US swimmer Ali Ledecky taking the gold. USA Today reported that NBC cut away to commercials during the 8 minute event.
  • Men's trampoline was also scheduled last night, so I'll have to go online to see it.
• Mary Carillo is doing double duty--late night host and tennis play-by-play this morning. Of course, the latter was a quick gig, based on the Willliams-Sharapova match.
• I got a chance to try out the NBC "Live Extra" app while out at a restaurant. Running a Galaxy Nexus on 4G, the video from various events was excellent, and the app response was quite snappy. 
• The Chinese gymnastics team is not doing well--their women's trampoline star screwed up at the end of her routine, giving Rosannagh Maclennan of Canada the win (Canada's first gold of the games).
• A first for the games today--Oscar Pistorius of South Africa, a double amputee, competed in the 400m sprint with his "cheetah blades", getting past the first round. There's still a debate over whether his "disability" helps or hurts him--but since the QISE committee okayed it, more power to him.
• I watched what appears to be a parody event--sprint track cycling. Two cyclists ride as slowly as they can, watching the other constantly, then pedal as fast as they can at the end--the important thing is not the time, but who wins.  Guatemalan Erick Barrondo won the silver--the first medal ever for Guatemala. 
• John McEnroe, an analyst for NBC, was sporting a wardrobe from the "Russian Mobster" collection today...
• You could tell that NBC's Track and Field analyst Ato Boldon had the phrase "The Pryce is Right" locked and loaded months ago in anticipation of Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce's win in the women's 100m dash
• Michael Phelps' QISE finale--hyperbolic much?

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 7

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Friday--210 hours so far.

• Ryan Lochte is not a great public speaker, if his interviews on NBC are any judge.
• So the gymnastics score goes out to a thousandth of a point, but when a tie still occurs, one person gets the medal and the other doesn't? I guess those medals are too expensive to just hand out to anyone.
• I would hate to be one of the shot put judges--you're constantly avoiding heavy objects. I guess it's better than the javelin.
• There's another apparent gaffe from NBC involving promos--although in this case someone is overreacting. Costas was talking about Gabby Douglas's win, and then a promo was shown for the upcoming "Animal Practice" series. The promo includes a monkey on gymnastics rings. I can see the potential slight, but I doubt NBC intended it.
• There hasn't been a lot to cover today--maybe that's why NBC decided to start prime time with a two-part film piece on the "Magnificent 7" gymnastics team from 1996.
• I continue to be impressed by Missy Franklin--not only for her swimming performance, but for the fact that she has rejected all endorsements so she can stay on her high school (and soon college) swim teams.

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 6

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Thursday--182 hours so far.

• Watching men's gymnastics from last night--the big difference between this and the women's event? For the girls, it's who can excel, but for the boys, it who screws up less.
• I'm finding myself fast forwarding through the swimming heats--each skip, and they're going in the other direction
• I look forward to Mary Carillo's late night coverage and reports--she is clearly having fun
• Bad form, Today Show! When Gabrielle Douglas was shown in a taped package, rap music was suddenly added
• In a story so remarkable that not even NBC could have scripted it, Kayla Harrison won Judo gold--she was sexually abused by her first coach, her new coaches got her into therapy and retrained her, she wins the gold, and now plans to be a firefighter.
• What I'm sacrificing for the blog--I decided to watch prime time live tonight, instead of whipping through it via Tivo. I'm doing it to see how well the "online companion" app works. I'm running it on my Galaxy Nexus, using my home wifi, plugged into AC power.
  • Overall, it's not bad. Biographical info on athletes competing at the time, twitters, photos, polls, quizzes...
  • The synchronization to the broadcast is fairly close--I'm wondering how much of it was already written up beforehand (since the entire primetime coverage is on tape), and how much is done on the fly.
  • It did appear to lock up at one point, forcing me to close and restart the app
  • Based on the quiz results, there was a high mark of 4300 people actively using the app (they may be splitting up the logins into multiple instances)
  • In the first hour, there were 34 entries on the app--more than one every two minutes 
  • I wouldn't mind some real time detailed stats for each ongoing event
  • Videos and photos don't always come up, especially when showing multiple pics at once. The underlying app is using Adobe tech, so it may not work great on my Android Ice Cream Sandwich device.
  • Updates to the app have come in almost every day--I assume that's to fine tune the code base
• We've made it to women's gymnastics--histrionics, HO!
  • "They could call that a step too--and if they do, she'll be punished"
  • "I know I sound like I am obnoxiously critical..."
  • "They work on...the micro-basics of the sport"
  • "Balance Beam is the great separator"
  • "They say a crowded room can be the most lonely place in the world"
• I'm starting to wonder if NBC will stage a nationwide power blackout as a publicity stunt for their upcoming "Revolution" series
• Another "instant ad" from AT&T, referencing the Rebecca Soni swimming win "just a few minutes" after the event (actually hours later--remember, it's all on tape)
• Did we just see another spoiler on a Today show ad? It trumpeted that Douglas and Lochte would be on the show tomorrow, with no reference to their rivals--neither have won or lost (at least in terms of the prime time script) when it aired around 9:45p.  Let's see what happens. Shouldn't NBC have a VP in charge of spoilers?
  • Update--Douglas gets the gold, Lochte gets a bronze and a silver--so I'd say it was a spoiler

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 5

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Wednesday--154 hours so far.

• Watching the women's Cycling Time Trials--I love that the current leaders sit in actual thrones watching the others come in
• Scandal in Badminton? Doubles teams from South Korea, China, and Indonesia threw matches in order to get a more favorable spot in later matches. From the video I saw, it wasn't subtle--they were obviously serving into the net, over and over. The other countries basically said "Well, China started it". If China jumped off a cliff, would you do it? The teams involved have been disqualified.
• Had a minor crisis before prime time--my Tivo started rebooting on it's own. I think it's fixed--fingers crossed. Today's notes may be a bit truncated.
• So why can the male swimmers wear long trunks, but the divers have to wear tiny briefs?
• We're seeing almost real-time ads tonight--Phelps winning his 19th medal in a VISA ad, and the women's gymnastic win referenced in a AT&T ad
• Also during diving, there was a dramatic music drop that seemed out of place--it was just an analyst going into technical detail, and in the background, it's DUHH-DUM-DUHH-DUHHH...
• In order to look hip, NBC brought in Ryan Seacrest to provide Facebook and Twitter stats from last night. Looks like Gabrielle Douglas is getting the majority of the "Fab 5" love.
• Danell Levya--one of the male gymnasts--has a favorite blankey, apparently    

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 4

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Tuesday--128 hours so far.

• Watching men's gymnastics from last night--apparently, the commission in charge of the sport has codified bribes to the judges. The Japanese coach filed a formal inquiry over a move on the pommel horse, and in order to do so, there's a "payment"   required. There was a bizarre shot of the coach handing the judges a wad of bills.  WTF? Well, the "payment" worked, and the Japanese got silver, pushing GB to bronze.
• In late night--why is Shaun White being interviewed at the Summer QISE? Because NBC realizes the Winter QISE is more popular.
• Great to see Community's Greendale Human Beings at the Judo event
• Moving to prime time, Bob Costas continues his anchor role. While he really doesn't spend much time onscreen, he's become the Jim McKay of the 21st century--the voice of QISE. If his Wikipedia entry is accurate, Costas turned 60 this year, but certainly doesn't look it.
• Perhaps things were quiet today--it's the only explanation I have for NBC spending over half an hour at the start of prime time on women's synchronized diving, when the US wasn't even in the finals.  That's not to say I didn't enjoy it--it's just a surprising move by the network.
• Then it's the women's gymnastics team final, so fire up the pathos!
  • Perfunctory hugs after every performance
  • Tim Daggett:
    • "That score was so, so wrong!"
    • "Not a death knell for Russia, but not good"
    • They even used his voice as parody for an animated movie ad
  • One "up close and personal" segment after the other
  • The music video played over and over
  • Lots of crying from the Russians

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 3

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Monday--97 hours so far.

• Late last night, NBC's carefully pre-written script on women's gymnastics was shredded.
  • The world champion, a member of the "Fab 5" (YOU WILL ACCEPT THIS NICKNAME) did not make the team finals
  • NBC did manage to wring every drop of pathos out of the event--at one point, one of the two US winners was interviewed while the loser was framed perfectly in the background
  • The commentators as well as ol' Bela, were incensed by this, and made their obvious bias even more clear.
• Watching Equestrian Cross Country on NBCSN--between the large crowds lining the course and the whimsical jumps, it reminded me of miniature golf writ large. Do I need to hit the ball into the clown's mouth to win?
• Double entendre of the day--while talking about getting proper footing for the horses, the commentator noted that "they needed to stud up"
• On table tennis--why do the competitors need to shag their own balls? Can't they have ball boys as in regular tennis?
• On kayaking - there was a 44-year old female competitor, and the announcers made it sound like she shouldn't have been allowed out of the nursing home (Disclosure--I'm 48)
• When they show a pool-level view of the butterfly swim, I'm reminded of Whac-a -Mole as they bob up and down
• Random gymnastics announcer statement of the night--"He just has to erase his hard disk"

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 2

You can see the medal count anywhere, but where else can you get running total hours recorded on my Tivo? Starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Saturday--37 hours so far.

• Late night coverage included women's weightlifting. My comment--who's the Hee Haw refugee doing the play by play? That would be Shane Hamman.
• Much of the video you are seeing is not directly from NBC--there's an international feed that all countries can use, and NBC takes full advantage of it. This is more obvious if you watch the online feeds, especially for early qualification rounds.
• What's with "everyone gets a hug" after every point in volleyball? I'm sure it's part of the regimen, but it really seems forced.
• The online site seems to suffer from Hulu disease--symptoms:
  • Showing the same four commercials over and over
  • Low quality video, badly encoded video, or video not designed for online use
  • Showing commercials WAY too often, especially since this is live coverage so you miss events
  • Bad (or no) commercial timing--sometimes occurring in the middle of a routine
• The poor weather in London gave us a strange sight--women competing in beach volleyball wearing bikinis while everyone else had overcoats on
• When you watch the diving competition, look for the 80's robot at the bottom of the pool--just saying
• Women's gymnastics has begun--bring on the superlatives from Tim Daggett! "That was a mindblowing vault!" "That was ginormous!" "That is just obscene!"

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 1

Let the games begin!

• NBCSN begins the Saturday coverage with--what else? Beach volleyball. No idea why this is so popular...
• The online coverage is surprisingly good, once you get it set up. The video quality is good, even with other activities on the Mac. We watched the Archery coverage--something you would be lucky to get 30 seconds of on TV.
• Since I'm already paying for cable in order to get online access, it would be nice if there were no ads. The constant banner at the top of the full screen view is particularly annoying.
• Shooting--the sport of snipers and survivalists
• For gymnastics online, you can concentrate your viewing on one of the apparati, if you're into that kind of thing
• Fencing--the sport of secret agents and medieval aristocrats
• Random British phrase, said during the cycling road race--"he's trying to put the cat among the pigeons!"
• Speaking of the road race--geeez, was that long or what?
• I love listening to Béla Károlyi talk--"these girls have hearts like bulls".
• NBC is really pushing the "Fab 5" moniker for the women's gymnastics team.  YOU WILL ACCEPT THIS NICKNAME!
• US 5-time shooter Kim Rhode on her father calling her the Tiger Woods of her sport--"I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing"

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 0: Opening Ceremonies

A few notes while watching the big event...

• We get the standard Pomp and Circumstance intro extolling the virtues of the host country
• I thought Meredith Vieira retired from NBC--what's she doing there?
• The big pagaent looks like a Renaissance Faire to start--now with minorities!
• We then meet the cast of Oliver, ladies and gentlemen--plus men in top hats dancing energetically--it's TopHaticize!
• I hope no one was standing under the flaming rings...
• What a teamup--the Queen says HELLOOO to Bond.  Also, there's an apparent infestation of Corgis at the castle.
• A less successful teamup--Peter Pan meets The Exorcist
• There's a phlanx of dancing sick kids--no wonder people are up in arms about Nationalized Healthcare
• The kid's nightmares are dispelled by a platoon of Poppins. "We're here to have a spoonful of sugar and kick ass--and we're all out of sugar!!"
• Then it's time for British Dance Party!
• A note for Matt and Meredith--SHUT UP!! We can see what's happening.
• The neverending Parade of Nations, with Bob Costas providing trivia--some of which might even be true. They keep saying how fast it's going--wishful thinking?
• After 7 billion pieces of confetti were dropped, the idyllic grassy hill in the stadium looks like an highway offramp
• After the protocol stuff is completed, we get a mini-concert by Angela Lansbury--sorry, Sir Paul McCartney

More to come...

QISE Review - Day -1: Know Your Networks

I'll preface this post with the fact that I am in the United States, hence my references to QISE TV will revolve around NBC. I'm sure there are less than legal ways to see other countries' coverage, if you had a mind to...

• NBC: the big dog in the fight, and where you will find the marquee events. Most of their coverage will be in prime time, morning, late night, and weekends. Total coverage: 272.5 hours (as a guide, the London QISE games run 17 days, or 408 hours total)
• NBC Sports Network - Previously known as Versus, NBC basically bought them for QISE coverage. Team sports (basketball, women's soccer, and field hockey) can be found here. Total coverage: 257.5 hours
• CNBC: This is normally the mullet of television--business during the week, prison documentaries on the weekends. Boxing will be found here. Total coverage: 73 hours
• MSNBC: The bizarro Fox News will give way to various events, especially soccer (events actually began yesterday). Total coverage: 155.5 hours
• Bravo: The previously classy network will pre-empt The Real Housewives of Sheboygan for tennis. Total coverage: 56 hours
• Telemundo: La QISE Gigante--su GOOOOAALLL es para cubrir el fútbol, boxeo, natación y baloncesto, así como las ceremonias de apertura y cierre. Total cobertura: 173 horas (thanks spanishdict.com!) 
• There are also specialty channels for both soccer and basketball, depending on whether your provider signed up for them. Total coverage: 770 hours
• For the half dozen people with this ability, there is also a 3D channel. I'm guessing this will consist of the opening and closing ceremonies played over and over. Just think--Bob Costas in 3D! Total coverage: 242 hours
• Finally, there's the website that must not be named (it involves the name of the network and QISE). They will supposedly live stream every event and sport, plus awarding of all 302 medals. You can also get live streams of the cable channels here. All of this is available IF you can prove to their website that you have a cable or satellite account. If you are planning to watch the opening ceremonies this way, starting setting it up now--it took us a while (more details in a future post). Total coverage: over 3500 hours
• Grand total: 5499.5 hours. Again, keep in mind there are 408 actual hours during the 17 days of QISE.

Tomorrow--let the pageantry begin!

Quadrennial International Sporting Event (QISE) Review - Introduction

For the next two and a half weeks, I am suspending the normal reviews posted here (I know it's been spotty lately), in order to cover what I'm calling the "Quadrennial International Sporting Event" (QISE) to avoid copyright issues or angry letters from the QISE Committee.

I'm not a huge sports fan--I'll watch the S***r Bowl for the commercials, and I do enjoy seeing a baseball game in person once in a while, but for the most part, I couldn't care less.  That changes when the QISE comes around.  I'm glued to the TV set (even more than usual), and have been since I was a child. I even have a small connection to QISE--my mother was a nurse, and gave Dave Wottle, winner of the 800m run in Munich in 1972, his inoculations before the trip. In 1984, SF Productions taped a video of a fake QISE in North Canton, OH. I need to get around to editing that at some point...

Even more than the actual events, I love the coverage--the overblown pageantry, the breathless announcers, the ridiculous graphics. So, I broke down and got cable again (I've been a "cord cutter" for a few years) just so I could get all the coverage from the NBC galaxy of networks. It also allows me to review the online coverage (you have to have cable or satellite to get access). I have a Tivo with a 1TB disk expander hooked up, so I can record all the channels at will.

 That's what I will be doing for the next 19 days (there are soccer matches starting today, BTW)--covering the coverage, both on air and online.  I might mention major wins and losses along the way, as well as complain about bad QISE decisions (how are NBA players "amateur" athletes?).

We'll start tomorrow--I hope you enjoy it.

Star Trek TNG: Season Six Continues

More of TNG Season 6:

• In "Rascals", Picard, Guinan, Ro, and Keiko (brought together using the random character plot device) are turned into children. Fortunately, the Enterprise has a set of kid-sized uniforms on hand for all of them--even Guinan. Speaking of her, the actress playing young Guinan (Isis Carmen Jones) is very good. Not as good are security procedures on the Enterprise--the Ferengis take it over easily. Also. there's a great scene with Riker playing "Dad" to the young Picard.
• Worf and Cousin Oliv--Alexander find a "Fistful of Datas" on an "ancient" west holodeck. The difficulty level on the holodeck is apparently proportional to the amount of haze in the air. Meanwhile, Picard plays with 24th century Garageband. The whole idea of testing Data's ability to run the ship's systems without simulating it first seems incredibly irresponsible. Of course, so does the use of holodecks on the ship--does that ever go well?
• "The Quality of Life" is all about robotics and the limits of artificial life. There's a lot of philosophical discussion in the episode--Ellen Bry plays an over-aggressive engineer. The little robot Exocomps are actually cute--before it's determined the robots are alive. Data puts the lives of Picard and Geordi on the line to save them.
• It's another two-parter!  In "Chain of Command", Picard, Crusher, and Worf go on an undercover mission against the Cardassians. Since when is Dr. Crusher an espionage expert? Meanwhile, a new captain (Ronny Cox) takes over the Enterprise. He's rather brusque--he even tells Troi to wear a standard uniform (hear hear!). The espionage team wander through Papier-mâché caves while the Enterprise forcefully "negotiates" with the Cardassians. Picard is captured (why is Worf so useless?) and "interrogated". David Warner plays his usual role of fey villain--he's been on Trek before (Star Trek VI). Riker is relieved of duty while Picard and his interrogator spar with ACTING! This becomes an issue in the later seasons--episodes sometimes turns into "Audition Scenes for Genre Actors". Of course in the end, Picard is saved, and the temporary captain is gone.

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Star Trek TNG: Kicking Off Season Six

Here we are, starting the sixth season of TNG: 

• First, let's finish off "Time's Arrow". Data is in the 19th century with Guinan, and Mark Twain is blabbing to a reporter about it. We cut to Riker and Crusher, now in the 19th century as well (and apparently having stolen period clothing). They determine the "greys" are killing cholera victims and absorbing their death energy for sustenance. The bellman helps Twain break into Data's hotel room. The bellman wants Twain to write his story, but Twain tells him to write it himself. We learn the bellman is Jack London. Data and Guinan arrive and find Twain. In a hospital ward, Crusher runs into the Victorian couple, but they zap out. Our heroes almost get nabbed by the cops when Data arrives in a carriage to whisk them off. There's a goofy scene with a landlady and a fake play. The full away team--along with Twain--make it to cavern where they found Data's head. The Victorian couple appear--there's a struggle--and off goes Data's head. The group runs through another vortex--including Twain but without Picard, Guinan, and one of the Victorian couple. They wind up in the same cavern in the 24th century--with Data's headless body. Back in the older cave, Guinan has been injured. 24th century Guinan refuses to tell Riker what happened back then. Troi accompanies Twain around the ship, explaining how things have changed. They debate whether to destroy the cave, but we've learned that won't work. Gerodi finds an iron filing in Data's head--Picard left it there as a message to the future, so they don't fire until they rephase the torpedos. Twain goes back to save Picard and help Guinan. The cave is blown up and the "greys" are stopped.  Whew! A complicated but silly story.

These entries are getting way too long, so no more plot summaries--just my thoughts and questions.

• Barclay's back in "Realm of Fear". He's got a problem with transporters--he's never been through one. How could he possibly have gotten through Starfleet training without ever doing that? Also, there's a reference in the technobabble to the "Heisenberg Compensator". This is an in-joke used several times on Trek, based on the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. At one point, Troi relieves Barclay of his duties because of all the stress he's under--can she do that without Crusher's OK? It's not like she's a doctor. Finally, how does Barclay see the worm creature during transport--he wouldn't have working eyes (or a brain) when he's dematerialized.
• Troi picks the wrong guy (again) in "Man of the People". She gets old age makeup and becomes quite the "cougar". I love the scene with the ensign in her quarters putting on his boots--the universal sign on Trek for an intimate encounter. There's also a scene with an Ensign "Janeway". Finally, when Troi de-ages at the end, her hair immediately turns back to black--how does that work?
• We have another encounter with TOS in "Relics"--Scotty beams in after sitting in a transporter pattern buffer for 75 years. The Enterprise crew seem unimpressed and mostly ignore him--surely someone (Troi?) would be trying to help him acclimate to the new century? There is a nice callback to an alcoholic beverage that's "green". Another nice touch--at one point, Scotty goes onto the old bridge via holodeck. In the end, he's given a shuttle and heads out into space.
• The crew are having problems sleeping in "Schisms". Troi holds a group therapy session with Riker, Worf, Geordi, and an unnamed crewman who is not mentioned again. There's a wacky scene with Data giving a poetry recital that seems like it was written for Season One. The episode turns into an alien abduction story, with Riker "taken" via a poor visual effect.
• Q is back--in this case, "True Q". Olivia d'Abo guest stars as a medical honor student, and as it turns out, a member of the Q Continuum who wants a normal life. Of course, our regular Q shows up as well. I love how Picard has to act "civil" to him in front of her. Crusher gets a big part on this episode. At one point, the two Q's hang out on the outer hull. When the female Q does her tricks, I kept being reminded of Samantha on Bewitched.

 Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come! 

Hogan's Heroes - Part 23

Repoooort!  More Hogan...

• The boys use a work detail to bring in an underground agent--and uranium! Meanwhile, the Nazis are training non-comms for Command training--so Schultz is put in temporary command, over Klink's protests. Schultz gets into his role--complete with a monocle and a bad attitude. To get the agent out with his info, the boys discredit "Kommandant Schultz" with an escape--with Klink's help. The episode seems different--a lot of clearly exterior shots rather than a set.
• It's "Eight O'clock and All's Well". Hochstedder is looking for underground agents like always--and Stalag 13 is in the middle of it all. So, the boys have to lay low. A new prisoner (Monte Markham) arrives. They check him out, then let him in on the operation. Of course, he's a spy, so the boys grab him then set him up as a dead hero.  Mr. Whipple (Dick Wilson) also makes an appearance as an agent. Markham was all over TV from the 1960s to the 90's--Mission: Impossible, Hawaii Five-O, Mary Tyler Moore Show, Six Million Dollar Man, Love Boat, Murder She Wrote--all the way to Fringe.
• Klink gives the prisoners a recorder to send messages to their families (not sure why, other than to drive the plot). The Gestapo show up--there's a big meeting going on. The boys convince Schultz is a great singer--but to record him with the right acoustics, they need to get into the rec room (where the meeting is happening). Klink catches them--so he can record his string quartet. Meanwhile, the real recorder catches the meeting for "The Big Record".
• What are the Nazis are storing at Stalag 13--"It's Dynamite" (a big no-no, but they are the bad guys), on it's way to an unknown destination. Schultz is driving the truck, and the boys track him. However, he seems to disappear and then reappear the next morning. The underground finds the dynamite--hidden near important locations (plants, bridges). It's there in case the Nazis lose (scorched earth). Carter plays firechief, creating a diversion at the dynamite cache--along with a hot secretary (Lyn Peters) to distract Hochstedder and get the plans. That will allow the underground to use the dynamite for their own means.
• Tiger (Arlene Martel) has been captured, and Hogan ignores orders to save her--it's "Operation Tiger". A fake fight creates a diversion to get an underground agent (hey, Mr. Whipple!) into the camp. He tells them Tiger is being transported via train. They stop the train, warn the head man (Frank Marth) that the track is mined, and head him toward--let's say it together--Stalag 13. Hogan gets to her in the cooler--their plan is to get her off the train, then blow it up, so they think she's dead. After some difficulties, they pull it off.  One question--if they are going to blow up the train, why tie up the guards? They are going to die anyway. (I know the reason--the good guys on 60's TV can't be seen killing people directly.
• The radio-detection truck is back, so Hogan can't communicate with the outside world. Hogan scams Klink about a rich young widow, and convinces Schultz that Klink's staff car has a (now missing) two-way radio. Klink is scared off at the last moment, and the boys take the car into town to meet the underground agent. He gives the info, and they use the car's radio to communicate with London. At the end, Klink meets the young widow--she's quite a catch--in 'The Big Broadcast".      

Remember, you can play along! The DVD box set is available on Amazon.

Star Trek TNG: Wrapping Up Season Five

Let's finish this season of TNG:

• Again with the energy beings! Again with the kids! A ball of energy enters the ship,  sees a young girl Clara (Noley Thornton) talking to her "Imaginary Friend", and decides to make her real (Shay Astar). Of course, the adults still can't see Clara's friend. There's also technobabble nebula strand thingies that are slowing down the ship. Guinan has a moment with Clara. Troi tries psychology on the girl (she still thinks Clara is making her up), and attempts to "separate" them. She gets thrown around by the entity for her efforts. There's a whole "Single White Female" thing going on here. Her "friend" says she's going to kill them all--complete with red eyes. More energy beings show up and start draining the shields--Clara's friend is actually a scout for the others. Pciard gives a big speech about how humans care for their children, and the energy beings relent. One other note--I know this is was produced in the 80's, but Troi's hair is out of control. It looks like she has a poodle on her head.
• The Enterprise finds a crashed Borg ship--with a survivor (Jonathan del Arco). Picard (understandably) wants to retreat, but Crusher wants to save it(?!?). Picard has an idea--use this Borg as a virus, sending programming back through the Collective. Crusher is still worried about what is essentially genocide. Was she not here during "The Best of Both Worlds"? Guinan and Picard have a fencing match--both physically and via wordplay. The Borg announces he is "Third of Five", and wants to go home to the Collective. They decide to call him "Hugh" (bad idea). Geordi and Data present their "virus" to Picard (essentially the "figure out the last value of pi" bit). Guinan comes to Picard--she's had a change of heart, but wants Picard to talk her out of it. He talks to Hugh, playing up the Locutus bit. Hugh says "resistance is NOT futile", and refuses to help in assimilation. He gives Hugh the option for asylum or to go back as is (no virus)--he chooses the latter to save them. Their hope is that Hugh's individuality will be a more effective virus.
• A Romulan ship sends out an SOS and during the rescue, Geordi and Ro are apparently lost in mid-transport. But then we see Ro wake up on the Enterprise--no one can see or hear her, and she walks right through objects. Is she dead? She finds Geordi in engineering--he has the same problem. They discuss the afterlife--Ro is accepting it, Geordi not so much. Ro goes to the bridge and says her goodbyes using the Audition Scenes for Young Actors method. Geordi figures out the Romulans "phased" them--they're not dead, just cloaked. It's "The Next Phase". They also learn the Romulans plan to destroy the ship--and one Romulan follows them, walking through a control panel as he does (he's phased as well). Geordi gives Data hints by walking though things, but the phased Romulan finds Ro--he just wants to get re-phased. Ro and the Romulan have a merry chase through bulkheads and people--Geordi pushes him out the ship. Now they have to warn Picard--and they do it at their New Orleans-style wake.
• The Enterprise comes upon an alien probe, which seems to knock out Picard. He awakes to find his wife (?!?) standing over him, calling him "Kamin". He's on an alien planet, and everyone thinks he should be there. They tell him he's been ill, and try to convince him his memories of the Enterprise are just a dream. His wife Eline (Margot Rose) gives him a flute he's been trying to play for years. We cut back to the Enterprise--he's still there and unconscious. All attempt to block the probe's transmission from Picard fail. Back on the planet--it's 5 years later! He's still trying to figure out his "dreams"--his wife wants him to drop it and live his life with her. He agrees--and decides to start a family. A quick check with the Enterprise--and when we return, time has passed again, and his family is there. An attempt to stop the probe almost kills Picard. It's now 25 years since Kamin "arrived". His little girl is now a woman (Jennifer Nash). The planet is dying from drought--their sun is going nova. Eline dies from old age. FInally, a probe is launched--with Kamin's life encoded on it! That's what Picard has experienced--an entire life. Picard awakens back on the bridge--only 20 minutes have elapsed. The last scene is Picard playing the flute they found on the probe. "The Inner Light" is a terrific episode.
• Not so terrific is "Time's Arrow"--the season cliffhanger. A mining crew has found evidence of extraterrestrials on Earth in the 1800's--Data's head! Geordi want to talk to him about it, but Data is philosophical about it. Microbes on the head are only found on a distant planet, so off they go. Data is held back from the away team, and he wonders why--Picard is protecting him. Troi, on the away team, senses hundreds of human lives--just out of phase in time. Data has to go down in order to detect them. He phases out,, and starts seeing what sounds like "greys". There's a temporal distortion--and Data is gone. We wakes up on a 19th century backlot. He makes some money in a poker game, using his communicator as ante, and checks into a hotel. A Victorian couple somehow zap a bum in the street--shades of Doctor Who! Back on the Enterprise, they make plans to find Data and communicate with the "greys". Guinan warns Picard that he has to go with the next away team. Data reads that there's a literary reception--with Guinan's picture. We cut to Mark Twain--of course (Jerry Hardin)--at the reception. Data barges in--Guinan is there, but this is before she knew him. Twain eavesdropped, and heard way too much. Back in the 24th century, the team phases in--and sees the "greys". There's a lot of Spielbergian lights and vortices, one of which they enter.  TO BE CONTINUED!    

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Star Trek TNG: Season Five Continues

More of TNG Season 5:

• There are "Violations" in the next episode. A group of Ullians are on the ship--they are "telepathic historians" that can probe memories of others. They wear bizarre cut up robes as costumes. Troi talks to one of them (Ben Lemon) before they go to their separate quarters, then she has weird memories and feelings--first about Riker, and suddenly about the Ullian. It's like something out of Cinemax After Dark--it puts her in a coma. The same thing then happens to Riker and Crusher--he has to make a life and death decision, and she has memories of her husband dying and Picard (with hair) taking her to see his body. Data and Geordi check out the planets the Ullians visited, and find more cases of coma. Troi wakes up with no memories of what happened, so the Ullians suggest they probe her memories. The younger Ullian frames the older one, but he overplays his hand with Troi. A rather creepy episode.
• It's another planet in peril (this time by a technobablle fragment) in "The Masterpiece Society". This "society" was genetically engineered--they don't want to be evacuated. Troi develops a romantic relationship with their leader played by John Snyder (seems pretty quick after the last episode). Their engineer (Dey Young) works with Geordi--they come up with a plan to save the planet. After a liaison, Troi breaks off the relationship. Engineering teams come to the colony to help set up defenses, and the fragment is deflected just enough enough to save them. The engineer from the colony mocks up a "breach" on the colony because she wants to leave--others want to as well. In the end, having the Enterprise "save" the colony did more harm than good.
• It's quite the "Conundrum"--the Enterprise attempts a first contact with an alien ship, and suddenly no one remembers who they are. They have a basic understanding of their jobs, but that's it. Who's in charge? Worf decides he is, since he has a sash. Data was behind the bar at Ten Forward when all this happened, so he thinks he's the bartender. There's also a new officer on the ship (Erich Anderson). Digging into more ship info, they learn they are at war (?) with an alien race--and have orders to take out their HQ. Everybody gets to play against type--for example, Ro gives Riker a booty call, and he in turn plays with Troi. The new officer pushes Picard to destroy a small ship, and gets Worf on his side. In the end, Picard refuses to attack a helpless vessel, the new officer is actually working for another race, and Crusher presumably figures out how to fix their heads.
• An away team (Riker, Data, and Troi) crash their shuttle on a planet with electromagnetic storms, forcing O"Brien to beam down with a doohickey to save them. Energy-based entities inhabit their bodies (except for Riker, since he had a broken arm) before they beam up, and they quickly take hostages in Ten-Forward.  It's a "Power Play". Picard agrees to take the injured hostage's place, and finds out the entities are from a 200 year old Federation ship--they just want to escape the planet. There's plenty of technobabble, a botched rescue mission, and a hostage walk to a cargo bay. It turns out the entities have nothing to do with the older ship--they are condemned prisoners. Picard forces their hand, and the entities skeedaddle. Mindy and I agree this was a 'meh" episode.
• Worf's back is broken in an accident, and Crusher can't fix it. A specialist is brought on board who has "Ethics" issues. She wants to replace his spine with a replicated one--Crusher won't approve such an untested procedure. Worf asks Riker to help him perform ritual suicide--he refuses--and Picard tells him not to be so terran-centric (?). Troi steps in to take care of Cousin Oliver--er, Alexander. This is the start of the relationship between Troi and Worf. Speaking of the Klingon, he refuses a 60% solution, so the specialist brings up the untested procedure--Crusher is pissed, but Worf wants to try it. Riker tells Worf that Alexander must help with the suicide--that stops him. Now Picard steps in, and convinces Crusher to do the untested procedure. Worf asks Troi to step in as Alexander's mom if things go badly. Of course, after some dramatic moments, the untested procedure works. This is like a Marcus Welby episode--in SPAAACE!

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!