Go West, Boomers! Day 10

Reporting from Warrenton, MO
LAT 38.49 N LON 91.8 W

Overall, today started well, but went downhill. I would call Missouri the "Show Me (the way out of this) State”.

We started off at the Johnson County Museum—incredibly impressive. There must be some money in this area to fund something like this. It includes an entire “all electric home” from the 50’s.

I’m pretty sure we had this color of counter-top when I was a little kid.

The painting slides back to display a TV. WANT!

There’s also a full-size neon sign from a local hotel.

We moved on to the National Museum of Miniatures and Toys. Two ladies had collections, and ran out of room in their respective homes. I was impressed!

Tiny rooms with even tinier furniture.

Regular and mini.

Of course, I was more interested in the toy collection.

ViewMasters—the Instagram of the analog era.

Stuff I had as a kid is in a museum? Yep, I’m old.

Sure, you got burns from them—but it was fun.

HOT WHEELS!

Moving on to the Truman Presidential Library. President Truman was a pivotal figure from the end of WW2 to the Korean War, along with the Berlin Airlift.

We grabbed a burger and tots just down the street from the Library.

As we continued the drive across the state, we ran into the “Cradle of Ragtime” at a train station

We then hurried to Jefferson City, in order to see the Missouri Capitol before they closed for the day. It was a bit of a letdown. Very impressive from the outside, but the interiors were in bad shape. Part of the place has been turned into a “state museum” that frankly wasn’t as good as the one we saw this morning. Both houses were closed and inaccessible. All the inside arches reminded me of a subway station. At least Mindy got a pencil from the Governor’s office.

At that point, we started to look for a place for the night. Mindy uses her phone to find a place each night, and we generally do pretty well. In this case, for whatever reason, we learned that hotels in Missouri are VERY overpriced. Like nearly double other states. There’s certainly very little drawing people here—just seems like profiteering. Anyway, after some driving and backtracking, we found a place that is decent and slightly better priced. We picked up some local pizza and sacked out.

Thin crust—almost cracker-like. We liked it.

Ehough for tonight. Tomorrow, St. Louis and parts east.

Go West, Boomers! Day 9

Reporting from Lenexa, KA
LAT 38.57 N LON 94.44 W

We began the day in Nebraska, and visited our 6th State Capital in Lincoln. It’s unique—Nebraska is unicameral, so there’s only the Senate. Also, the building doesn’t have a traditional dome—instead, it has a 14 story tower. You can actually go outside near the top. The place looks like a church inside—no metal detectors to be found. Ironically, the outside seems more like a prison.

A panorama on the 14th floor, near the top of the tower. Lots of black stone and murals.

View from the top.

Driving on, we ran into some wooden objects.

In a guy’s front yard. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a tree?

Replica of a Lewis & Clark boat. Very narrow and cramped.

After a quick sprint across the corner of Iowa, we found ourselves in Missouri. St. Joseph is the self-proclaimed “Pork Tenderloin Capital of the World”, so we shared one at a local dive.

A local resident.

BPT with homemade chips. Delish!

We jumped over the river to Kansas, where dinosaurs run wild.

Not Photoshopped.

Back to Missouri and Kansas City. We started with a castle tower in a residential neighborhood. A guy decided he wanted to build one, and I guess there was no HOA to stop him.

A treacherous spiral staircase takes you to the top.

The top includes a cannon, in case you have an issue with a neighbor.

Then it was onto KC proper. We had to have BBQ there, and found a place that started in a gas station (ambiance is inversely equivalent to quality in ‘que). After a 15 minute wait in line (and this was an early dinner), we got ribs, burnt ends, and a meat-centric salad. All were great.

The following are artistic installations in the downtown area. We decided to get to all of them tonight, so we didn’t have to go back into downtown again. The roads and traffic are a mess! (Of course, having a Chiefs game going on tonight didn’t help).

In the garment district, almost hidden.

Giant books at the library, with Mindy shown for scale. Took 15 minutes to find a place to park.

A replica of TWA’s “Moonliner” from Disneyland, on a random building. Perhaps it’s there because of…

…Walt’s original animation studio, pre-Disney. Can’t understand why the Mouse House doesn’t pay to have this abandoned building fixed up as a shrine!

One of several giant shuttlecocks at the art museum.

A glass labyrinth, possibly inspired by KC’s roads.

By that point, we were beat, and we headed to the Kansas side of the KC metro area for the night. Tomorrow, museums, libraries, and an electric house. #gowestboomers

Go West, Boomers! Day 8

Reporting from Lincoln, NE
LAT 40.5 N LON 96.41 W

Today involved a lot of driving, and only a few stops—but they were all good.

We drove back into Nebraska, and came upon a shrine to Our Lady of Fatima. A WW2 chaplain vowed to build one if he survived the war. He did both—and it’s very pretty.

A ways farther down the road, we visited Pioneer Village. A guy named Harold Warp decided to start his own version of the Henry Ford museum in the middle of Nebraska. 26 buildings of everything you could think of.

There is a whole village of original building moved to this location, along with a lot of warehouses.

A local TV station’s circa-1960 equipment.

The schoolhouse that Harold attended—along with all the books and records.

A 1950’s kitchen…

…and a 1980’s kitchen.

Computer equipment—some of it I’ve actually used.

There were also multiple warehouses packed with classic cars.

The beige hornlike device hanging out the window is an add-on air conditioner.

Just loved the coloring.

“Hey, Bob—what if we put the sun visor INSIDE the car?”

Generations later, people refer to poor cars as Edsels.

This is a Ford Model A Coupe—my dad owned a Model A Truck for years.

There were multiple aisles in multiple warehouses like this, arranged by make and year.

Did you know that Hastings, Nebraska has the largest municipal museum between Chicago and Denver? And did you know that Kool-Aid was developed in this area? Well it was.

OH, YEAH!!!

So we ended up the day in Lincoln NE. There was a lot of online buzz about Lee’s Chicken restaurant (unrelated to the Lee’s Chicken chain). You can read my earlier report in FB about it—suffice to say we were not impressed.

That’ll do for tonight. Tomorrow, onto Kansas City. #gowestboomers

Go West, Boomers! Day 7

Reporting from Wray, CO
LAT 40.5 N LON 102.13 W

(Delayed post due to poor hotel wi-fi)

We’re back to the plains this evening, in a small town. But we started in Denver this morning. While we enjoyed our day there, it’s more soothing to be out in the sticks.

First thing, we drove into downtown Denver to meet our niece Abby for brunch. The fare had a Mexican feel.

We then tracked down mysterious grates in front of the Federal Reserve which emanate strange noises. I’ll post video when we have some decent WiFi.

Onto Statehouse #5 for the trip. Colorado’s capitol building is on the larger side, but the interior seems smaller, with lots of hallways. Their brass cleaner budget must be immense.

Our greatest President—Jebediah Bartlett.

Just outside is a marker indicating one mile above sea level. Unfortunately, they miscalculated twice—Mindy is at the correct altitude.

We ventured out into the burbs to find Estes Mini-Town. It’s a set of buildings from the mid 20th century that have been collected, restored, and decorated. They have “new” items waiting for work to be completed.

We took a header west and made our was to an overlook of the Rockies. This is as far west as we go—everything going forward will be in the eastward direction.

After a great deal of searching, we found the statue of a horse with a hazmat suit on. This is a reference to a nuclear weapons plant in the area which required a massive cleanup.

Our final stop in the Denver area was Mile High Comics. A mecca for comic book fans, it’s a huge warehouse along with a massive showroom. I couldn’t leave without seeing it.

Someone’s getting fired.

Looks like my collection—times 1000.

Then it was a three hour trip to the east, ending up in Wray, CO. The front desk said there were 4 restaurants in town, only 2 were good. We picked a bistro that turned out to have zero signage—I was convinced I would need to provide a password to get into a speakeasy. Instead, it was a second floor establishment with a large menu. We have some Italian dishes—I guess when you have almost zero competition, you don’t try very hard. It was OK, though.

And that does it for today. Tomorrow, back to Nebraska. #gowestboomers

Go West, Boomers! Day 6

Reporting from Aurora, CO
LAT 39.44 N LON 104.49 W
Altitude 5403 FEET

We began the day in Alliance, NE, a small town with a great hotel. Wonderful service and a huge breakfast—omelettes, ham, biscuits and gravy, and all the other stuff you would expect. We then made our way to “Carhenge”—an art installation in the middle of a field, consisting of old cars. The main exhibit is Stonehenge, except using automobiles as plinths. A truly spectacular sight.

An interior panorama.

And oh, how they dawnced, the little children of Carhenge… (with apologies to Spinal Tap)

Then, just a short distance away, we found Dobby’s Frontier Town. A set of old west buildings from around the area, collected and equipped with items appropriate to the place—a barn, a jail, a saloon, a post office, a bank… It was a large setup, and it’s clear the few volunteers involved are very busy.

The bars are from a bank robbery by the Sundance Kid.

Fun downstairs and upstairs.

We then took a drive across the prairie and into Wyoming.

This is Wyle E. Coyote territory. I was expecting to see broken ACME equipment strewn around.

We reached Cheyenne, WY, the State Capitol. It was smaller than the last few capitols, but very impressive regardless. While others use a lot of marble, this building uses wood, which gave it a warmer feel. We learned the wood was shipped from Ohio, back in the 1880’s! Wyoming was the first state to vote for women’s suffrage, 50 years before the US did so.

There are a series of vaults in the basement, originally put in place to store the state’s money and documents. As part of a massive restoration project, layers of paint were removed to reveal oil paintings on each one. They are now used for office supplies.

We stopped in at a local burger place for lunch. Excellent!

An hour later, we were in another state—Colorado, specifically Ft. Collins, to see more giant things.

An ice cream stand.

We wrapped up the day in Denver and more giants.

A bear checking out the convention center.

Chair avec horse.

Badly made chair.

Since we had a late lunch, we finished things up with ice cream from Nugg’s, a local stand.

OK, enough for today. We’re worn out. Tomorrow, more of Denver, including brunch with our niece. #gowestboomers

Go West, Boomers! Day 5

Reporting from Alliance, NE
LAT 42.5 N LON 102.53 W

Now in our fifth state of the trip, with three of them new for me. But let’s rewind to this morning, when we left Wall, ND and ventured into the middle of nowhere, which is where you would place a Minuteman missile. Duck and cover, kids!

We move from the morose to the wacky—ladies and germs, the world’s largest Quarter Pounder with Cheese!

Hey, don’t tell me what to do!

We found another contrast in a Rapid City ND park—a giant rock you can spin, and a piece of the Berlin Wall.

Near Checkpoint Charlie.

As we made our way to Mt. Rushmore, we ran into Keystone. If you’ve been to Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, you would find it very familiar. This also means tourist attractions like the Cosmos Mystery Area—one of those places that use optical illusions to convince you gravity has run wild. Photos don’t do it justice.

We also found a place where, for an enormous fee, you could get chainsaw sculptures.

And then it was Mt. Rushmore itself. You see it from quite a distance away, but it’s still impressive, mostly in terms of the amount of labor involved. It’s a national monument AND a tourist trap! It was $10 to park, but we got the senior discount, plus we charged up our hybrid car.

Had to get a shot of this—what’s the only state with a pennant flag?

Still haven’t gotten the knack of selfies.

If you’re going to protest, you must do so in this pre-defined area!

George, can we get a shot from the side? Great!

The guy that made it happen. Plus a great Scrabble move.

We finally found a place to eat in Custer, ND (we’re in the “off season”, and it’s a Sunday). Pretty decent Mexican food.

The final image for today is from Hot Springs, ND. There’s a archeological site there where Mammoths were found. It was expensive to take a tour, plus they were 20 minutes from closing, so we chose to take a shot of the fellow in the front hall.

It’s a living.

That’ll do it for now. Tomorrow includes another state capitol and (maybe) the Mile High City. #gowestboomers

Go West, Boomers! Day 4

Reporting from South Wall, ND
LAT 43.59 N LON 102.14 W

Writing this a bit late, due to a) we’re now in Mountain Time and b) I had to use my phone as a hot-spot since the hotel WiFi is out.

We drove into South Dakota and made our way to Vermillion, which is the home of the University of SD, and fortunately had an away game today. We visited the W.H. Over Museum, which is a melange of archaeological, historical, and anthropological exhibits, seemingly placed at random. Very interesting though.

There was also what must have been a local’s collection of camera equipment—probably the best exhibit they had.

A retoucher unit—analog Photoshop.

In the same town, we read about a sandwich shop inside a hardware store.

It turned out great—the bread is recommended by Oprah of all people. Fantastic sammiches!

Sandwich of the Month - The Kent.

3D Melt.

We drove onto Mitchell and the Corn Palace—but first a giant jackalope.

The Corn Palace consists of the local auditorium with a corn mosaic glued to it (they change it annually). Far less impressive in person.

At this point, we “called an audible” for the rest of the day. We were planning to go up to Pierre and see another state capitol, but when we read there were no decent hotels or restaurants, we chose to skip it and move on. As it turned out, our final destination of the day wasn’t much better.

Anyway, we got on I90, which I quickly learned had an 80 mph speed limit (whee!). At one point, we took some panoramas at a scenic outlook.

Then a stop to see wildlife, both fake and real. The latter had a whole colony next to a convenience store—you could feed them if you wanted.

Our final stop for the day was the fabled Wall Drug. For those who haven’t heard of it, Wall Drug is the original tourist trap. An offer of free ice water in the 30’s pulled in the crowds. Today, it’s a warren of gift shops and snack bars. It was underwhelming, but we did get a few photo ops.

After an equally underwhelming dinner (if someone put a real restaurant in Wall, they would make a bundle), we shuffled over to the best hotel in town (in that the room doors didn’t open directly to the outside—which would make it a Motel IMHO). That’s when we found out the wi-fi was down (the manager said it was that way all over town, which I am doubtful of). So after some Googling and swearing, I hooked up the internet equivalent of two cups and a string—and here we are.

Tomorrow—assuming all goes well, Mt. Rushmore. I’m going to bed. #gowestboomers

Go West, Boomers! Day 3

Reporting from South Sioux City, IA
LAT 42.26 N LON 96.20 W

My last missive was a bit premature—we didn’t quite make it to SD, just over the border. Our day started at Bluebird Cafe, since the hotel breakfast was lacking. We shared an omelette and Cinnamon Roll French Toast.

If I were you, I wouldn’t take one of these.

Onto the category of corporate symbols—in this case, Newton IA’s Maytag Repairman. Remember “The Dependability People”?

Another strange monument—”Laid Back Easter Island” statue next to a kid’s playground in Altoona, IA.

We moved onto our third State Capitol of the trip in Des Moines. Even more ornate than Illinois.

Apparently, the Secretary of State is a Marvel fan.

This is a massive mosaic.

Their law library was massive—looks like a scene from Myst.

Then it was a few hour drive across Western Iowa, interspersed with giant…

…wrenches…

…bikes…

…and popcorn balls.

OK, that’ll do it for today. Onto South Dakota, this time for real. #gowestboomers

Go West, Boomers! Day 2

Reporting from Coralville, IA
LAT 41.41 N LON 91.36 W

We’ve reached our third state so far. But to begin the day, we found a “weird in the wild” item—a giant macaroni in front of a Kraft-Heinz plant.

Moving to Springfield IL and a more somber item—Lincoln’s tomb. There was a helpful park associate answering questions.

You’re supposed to rub Lincoln’s nose for luck, but the pandemic overrides luck.

Slightly less morose was the crypt of “Mr. Accordion”, who got his revenge after the cemetery tried to reneg on his purchased plot. He would regularly go out and play his accordion on his plot, (just as you went into the park), had an elaborate crypt put in, while being buried elsewhere.

Nearby was our second state capitol for the trip, and a far site better than the first. We took a guided tour then did a little scouting.

We drove for a while after that, and started getting peckish. We picked a place in the middle of nowhere called Grandpa’s. Took us a while to track it down, and almost walked back out. Glad we didn’t. Mindy had a “horseshoe”—a local delicacy I would call an Illinois poutine. Biscuit, meat, fries, cheese sauce.

As we crossed the border into Iowa, we located “Snake Alley”, a twisty steep road named for it’s serpent-like shape. Ripley’s documented it for “Believe It or Not”. Dashcam video of the drive will be posted later.

We visited Riverside IA for a specific reason—James T. Kirk will be born here. His “monument” is in an alley next to City Hall. We also found his bronze likeness—are all celebrities short? Anyway, we timed the visit for #StarTrekDay.

After finding a hotel in Coralville, we were looking for a place to honor Queen Elizabeth II who passed today at 96, but the best we could do was a British-themed pizza pub.  We shared fish and chips along with a salad. It was decent. #godsavetheking

That’ll do it for our second day. Tomorrow—some giant things and South Dakota. #gowestboomers

Go West, Boomers! Day 1

Reporting from Champaign-Urbana, IL
LAT 40.7 N LON 88.13 W

We’ve made it to the end of Day 1, which partly involved familiar drives. I have in-laws in Chicago and Milwaukee, so we didn’t see a lot of new territory until we got past Indianapolis.

But before then, we tracked down a giant rose sculpture. Did you know that Springfield OH at one point was America’s premiere rose grower? Well, in 2020, someone decided they needed to honor that. The distinction is muted when you place said sculpture at the side of a highway going out of town, with no clear way to access it. We pulled onto the berm and got a few pics.

The it was off to glamorous Greenville OH and the Maid-Rite Drive In. We skipped the loose meat sammiches (they were just getting ready to open), and concentrated on the wads of gum adorning the walls. Blecch!

Moving onto Indianapolis. Out first meal of the trip was at the Mug ‘n’ Bun, a classic drive in near the speedway. We ordered a burger, a pork tenderloin sammich, and onion rings to share. The burger was what your mom might make when you ask for a Big Mac, using a slice of bread in the middle. The tenderloin was tasty and not too enormous. Rings were a bit greasy. On the other hand, homemade root beer!

We have started a habit of checking out state capitol buildings, so we ventured into downtown Indy. The place was fairly generic--lots of 1880's flourishes and relatively dark with the exception of skylights. Couldn't get into the galleries despite there being no sessions underway. I'll give it a 5 out of 10.

Commandant and Sorcerer Supreme.

Finally we reached Illinois, stopping at Champaign-Urbana near the college.  After a quick rest at the hotel, we ventured out for dinner--something more nutritious than lunch, hummus and salads.  Both were excellent!

Well, that's plenty for one day.  Tomorrow, onto to Iowa and a historic birthplace...

Go West, Boomers! Day 0

Monument or tourist trap? We’ll find out.

Location: Casa de Schmidbauer

It's been 2 1/2 years since our last big road trip--I'm trying to forget what got in the way. This time, we are heading west in a run that will take us through the Great Plains and into the Rockies.  Included will be state capitols, world's largest (____), tourist traps, Mt. Rushmore, art installations, local foods, and the Mile High City. Roadsideamerica.com will be a major source. Wish us luck! #gowestboomers

QISE Review - Beijing 2: Electric Boogaloo - Day 16

Back to the final night of competition--finishing up the Mixed Team Parallels before we return to Pair's Skating.   Tara and Johnny (and Terry) got some onscreen time to show off their fashions, but were fairly quiet during the actual performances.  Terry pulls a metaphor, though, after the Chinese team skated to "Bridge Over Troubled Waters"--"will there be a bridge in that program to carry them to the top step?"  It did, as China wins the gold over the cheating Russkies.  It's the end of the skating competition, but we're still got the Skating Gala to go, plus the skating analyst trio will return for the Closing Ceremony.

Then we finish up the Four Men Bobsled, before we go to the final Late Night show.   We plow through the Cross-Country Skiing Women's 30km Freestyle, before we make to the Skating Gala--a "made for TV" concept to fill the time between the final events and the closing ceremony.  It's hugely popular, partly because there is no scoring and no rules.  Skaters are "invited" to participate (but if you medaled, you're probably going). Tanith White and Ashley Wagner, both QISEians, did commentary.  It can also serve as your audition reel for the Ice Capades.  We even get gimmicks like light-up costumes.  Why can't QISE add an "X-Game-y" version of figure skating where it's all about the most extreme tricks?

Torico steps in for an interview with China analyst Jing Tsu, who I don't think we've seen for 2 weeks, to discuss the Eileen Gu story. 

The final afternoon show is always awkward, especially when QISE is actually over (the Closing Ceremonies happened early this morning Eastern time, but will show on NBC tonight).  Outdoor events are usually front-loaded in the games in case bad weather causes delays (which did happen, but not enough to give NBC anything new to show in this afternoon's slot).  There's already a "QISE Gold" show airing tonight as a review of the big moments--so what do you do?  Reruns, reruns, reruns!  Cross-Country Skiing Women's 30km Freestyle, the Alpine Skiing Team Event, and the Skating Gala. 

We did get an interview, with Torico speaking to QISEOC President Thomas Bach.  He's asked what can be done to "rehabilitate" the QISE movement, what's the deal about Chinese tennis star Peng Shuai, Chinese human rights abuses, the COVID restrictions, the Valieva debacle--and got back a lot of platitudes, as expected.  Of course, he pointed fingers at the national QISE committees to resolve doping issues.  Afternoon wraps up with the long credits crawl (13 minutes).  It did get me thinking--based on the success of leaving much of the broadcasting team in the US, will NBC/Universal/Comcast/Kabletown/Sheinhardt Wig Co. ever consider spending the money to send them all to future QISE, even assuming it's safe physically and politically?

On side story that just came out--US skating pair Alexa Knierim and Brandon Frazier are being sued for music infringement by the band Heavy Young Heathens after using their version of "House of the Rising Sun" without permission.  The band has already sued others for using their music in commercials.  Seems like an easy catch--who was sleeping at US Skating?

Prime Time begins with Torico in the studio, in the "QISE Gold" special--packaged highlight reels from the last two weeks, including a supercut of the remote families "zooming in" to awkwardly congratulate the winning athletes (brought to you by Xfinity).  We do get the return of Jing Tsu and Andy Browne, NBC's China experts.  They complained about the literal closed loop in Beijing that made it seem like they weren't really there.  The Chinese people saw a sanitized version of the games, of course.  The Russkies and the Chinese are teaming up to take over the world.  Thanks for bringing everybody down, guys!  Kornacki gives us a final breakdown of the medal count (the US came in fifth, BTW).

Again with the Nathan Chen performance!  We get it, he's good.  Tara and Johnny stop by to talk with Torico, reviewing the Valieva debacle.  Then Shaun White does a victory lap.

A half hour late, the closing ceremony begins, which means it's Tara, Johnny, and Terry to the studio. Oh, Johnny--leggings, a poofy shirt, and a halo?  Even for you, that's a lot.  More dancing kids with snowflakes, pomp and circumstance, augmented reality--lather, rinse, repeat.  The flags and athletes arrive as a group, with the team doing interviews with some of them, which seems like it ruins their QISE moment.  There's an awkward moment when the athletes are told to take their seats, and they basically ignore it, snapping pics and dancing about.

Back to artistry and Chinese symbolism, then the formal handoff from China to Italy (the 2026 games will be held in Milan and Cortino d'Ampezzo, sharing QISE for the first time--Cortina hosted it alone in 1956).  This leads to an Italian  presentation--a teaser/travelogue involving video and interpretive dance.  I wonder if China will rent out the massive LED floor for future QISE ceremonies?

Some platitudes from Thomas Bach, the games are closed, and the flame is extinguished.  Oh, and a lot of fireworks.

See you in Paris in 887 days.

QISE Review - Beijing 2: Electric Boogaloo - Day 15

Note--I had some commitments today, so I'm scanning through this quickly on the DVR.

Back to prime time last night, and the Men's Ski Halfpipe.  High winds really screwed up some of the runs.  Another athlete package from Torico, this time US halfpiper David Wise, part of a religious family who lives mostly off the grid.

An hour later, we're back to Pair's Skating.  Another package, this time on the American couple of  Ashley Cain-Gribble and Timothy LeDuc--the latter is the first publicly out non-binary athlete at the games.  More from Johnny, about a Chinese couple: "This team skates in a sweet whisper, but their technical elements are like fireworks."  Tara, on a Not-Russian team: "Perfectionists being perfect".  I didn't get to see the final performance, as the show ran late.  This makes no sense for an event that was ON TAPE from 12 hours earlier.  That's just laziness, NBC!

Late night--Taylor sends us to Four Man Bobsled.   The only team most people care about is the Jamaican sled.  They even got their own video package!  It's the first time in 24 years for a four-man team--they didn't do very well, but at least they got through it safe.  Off to speed skating (a rerun?), with American Jordan Stolz.  NBC keeps showing his video package, with his parents making him a track on a local pond.  They make a big deal about someone from Wisconsin making it here--Mindy notes that the US QISE Speed Skating Center is in Milwaukee, so it's not that long a stretch. More Bobsled to wrap up the evening.

Onto the afternoon--Mass Start Long Track Speed Skating for the Women and Men (separately). In the first lap, you have to keep your position and not pass each other, then there's "sprints" during the 16 laps, where you can earn points--except they don't matter in the finals.  It seems needlessly complicated.  Claudia Pechstein of Germany is competing at nearly 50 YEARS OLD in her 8th QISE.  An Italian skater, Francesca Lollobrigida, is the great-niece of actress Gina.  The Men's winner, Bart Swings (what a great name) is the first gold for Belgium in 74 years.  As they all skate in line (to draft others), I am reminded of a barbershop quartet for some reason.  Meanwhile, the Cross-Country Skiing Men's 50km Freestyle--the Marathon of the Winter Games--had to be reduced to 28km due to bad weather (cold and wind).  Jimmy Roberts stops by for his final story, all about the snow and ice required in QISE winter events, and the big stories of the last two weeks.

Prime Time kicks off as always with Torico, waxing rhapsodic, and throwing us to the Two Women Bobsled finals.  Then it's the Pairs' Free Skate with Tara and Johnny, the former plugging her Peacock documentary "Meddling", covering a 2002 QISE skate judging scandal.  Torico cuts over to live coverage of the he Mixed Team Parallels--a side by side slalom down the hill with Shiffrin on the US team.  The event had to be delayed until Sunday morning in China due to weather issues.  The commentators note that, because of current conditions, one side of the course is running faster.  How is that fair? 

More to come, including the Closing Ceremonies.

QISE Review - Beijing 2: Electric Boogaloo - Day 14

Back to last night, and back to Women's Skating - Free Skate.  Tara refers to a skater as a "great actress...but not an Oscar winner".

But we're here for the drama of the final group.  No one from the US is on the ice--they're on the bus back to the QISE village by this point.  Tara and Johnny reiterate their disgust with the Valieva saga, with her noting that "the adults around her have failed her".  She then goes to the magic board to show how a skater stays in the mix without the most complex jumps due to "grade of execution".

The first not-Russian, Trusova, is all about grinding out jumps (5 quads), basically ignoring the artistic portion. I'm sure my mom is complaining about the "noise" of her background music.  Sakamoto, a Japanese skater in the mix, has a much better balance, with Johnny referring to her jumps as "skipping stones".  The second non-Russian, Shcherbavoka, had a clean performance, but "only" did two quads.

...and then it was Valieva (Valiyeva?  I keep seeing different spellings.)  A slip on a Triple Axel.  Another slip.  And then a fall on her final quad.  She left the ice sobbing.  The scores came in--Valieva came in fourth.  When Terry notes that leaving Valieva off the podium means that medals will be awarded, Johnny replies: "Thank God".   There's a lot of crying all around.  Shcherbavoka, the gold medalist, appears to be in shock.  Trusova, the silver winner, screaming in Russian about hating the sport and never going on the ice again.  Sakamoto, winning the bronze, opening weeping in a coach's arms.

The "Court of Arbitration for Sport" made the Valieva decision partly to avoid "mental harm" in not allowing her to skate--how'd that work out?

Torico extricates us from all this, moving over to Women's Ski Halfpipe, with Gu getting her second gold for China.  Torico wraps things up, noting that QISEOC President Thomas Bach had just criticized the Not-Russians for their treatment of Valieva post-skate.  He then stated that the QISEOC needs to stand up and fix this once and for all--suggesting either excluding the Russkies from future games, or directly take over anti-doping programs--or risk the QISE movement altogether.  Shots fired by NBC!

Two side stories before we move on--

Broadcast cameras caught the Russian coach savagely berating Valieva after her skate, saying "Why did you let it go? Why did you stop fighting?  Explain it to me--why? You let it go after the axel. Why?"  All this as Valieva sobbed away.

As the US skating team members wait for the final results of the Valieva investigation, which will determine if they get a gold or silver, QISEOC has announced they will gift a set of QISE torches to them.  Kind of a consolation prize while they wait for the UPS guy to deliver their medals down the line.

Maria Taylor takes us into Late Night, sending us to Nordic Team Combined (pretty sure this is a rerun--I've lost track).  We then cut away to Terry, Tara, and Johnny, going over the events of the evening but not really adding anything.  Then it's off to Curling, where the US battled Canada (they would eventually lose).  Taylor noted that the US team has a big fan--Mr. T!  Late night wraps up with Men's SkiCross.  It's such a fast event that we go all the way from quarterfinals to the gold medal race.

Before we go on, I wanted to note that I've been scanning through the Today Show each day.  They quickly went from QISE-crazy (with the bizarre outside backyard-y set) to quick daily reviews as US's hopes dimmed.

Lowe welcomes us to the last weekday afternoon of coverage.  By this point, it's already the last weekend in Beijing, so we're going to get a lot of reruns, starting with the Women's Ski Halfpipe.  Lowe does squeeze in an interview with Julia Marino, who got the US's first medal in these games, in Snowboard Slopestyle.   Then it's Biathlon, the Women's 12.5 km Mass Start.  Torico narrates a video package on American Jordan Stolz, a short track speed skater--I'm guessing we will see a lot of these over the next few days.  NBC has been holding onto them in case of weather issues causing delays to fill time.  Then the Men's version of the Biathlon 12.5 km Mass Start and a rerun of Men's SkiCross.

Prime Time kicks off with Torico in the studio, tossing it to Two Women's Bobsled. I noted that both of the American medal winners in the Monobob are acting as "pilots" for different two-women sleds.  I guess that means the pilot role is more complicated, with the others in the sled basically dead weight after the initial push.  Then we move to Pair's Skating--Short Program.  Johnny's on again, calling the US pair "a souffle worth waiting for".

More to come.

QISE Review - Beijing 2: Electric Boogaloo - Day 13

A search party out looking for QISEOC President Thomas Bach.

Back to Prime Time last night--Torico sends us off Men's Aerials Freestyle Skiing.  More flipping--meh.    Then it's Women's Halfpipe Freestyle Skiing--Qualifying aka the Eileen Gu Show.  I keep noticing new overdramatic music beds--variations on their standard music.

Back to the Valieva issue--Torico interviews Tara and Johnny.  Big surprise--their opinions haven't changed.  Johnny said he cried after the Short Program.  Torico used the term "cocktail" when referring to the combination of the illegal and legal drugs found in Valieva's positive test.

More Ski Halfpipe, then we return to the Shiffrin saga, as she goes to her final discipline in the Women's Combined. The announcing team, onscreen in the studio, sets it all up. Vonn still doesn't seem to understand what a "live mic" is--she says "what?" during another commentator's setup.  We also learn about a built-in airbag now included in the competitor's uniforms.

Prime Time actually ended early (10:30 Eastern), due to the timing of the Women's Hockey gold medal match, which took up most of the Late Night run. Hockey is one of those sports I watch on fast forward, backing up to see each score. Spoiler--Canada wins. Not a surprise, since they also won a game against the US earlier in the tournament. The game ended just in time for NBC to catch Shiffrin drop out of the Combined Slalom. Commentators continued to emphasize her overall successful career.

Well, the news came out this morning--the Women's Free Skate was held in the early hours on the East Coast, and Valieva crashed and burned--she's out of the medals. A win for the QISEOC, who now don't have to make the tough decision, and will most likely let the team competition results stand--just as long as the billions of dollars keeps flowing to a group of European aristocrats. A win for Russia, who will likely see zero consequences from continuing to cheat. The losers: Valieva, probably off to the Gulag as I type this. NBC, watching their multi-billion dollar investment sink even further in the ratings. All the other skaters, who have now learned that they better cheat if they want a chance at gold. QISE itself--their reputation becoming more and more threadbare day by day. It's all a shame, and could have easily been avoided if the QISEOC had been more interested in ideals than money.

Off the soapbox, and onto afternoon coverage. Lowe brings us up to speed on the Women's Skating debacle. Silver winner Alexandra Trusova sobbed to the media afterward--"I'm not happy with the result. There is no happiness. I hate this sport. I never want to walk onto the ice". Good job, QISEOC (slow clap)! Lowe then pivots to Men's Nordic Combined, and reruns of a Shiffrin interview and Women's Ski Halfpipe. We then move onto Women's Skicross. A head to head race AND it doesn't involve flipping? Yes please. Lowe then interviews speed skater Erin Jackson in the studio (seems like a lot of athletes are fleeing Beijing...) Back to Ski Halfpipe to wrap things up.

Prime Time kicks off with Torico sending us off to Long Track Speed Skating, the Women's 1000m sprint. This was put at the top of the show since US skater Brittany Bowe got the bronze. Then Torico sets the table for the Women’s' Free Skate, starting with the US skaters.

More to come, including the not-Russian skaters and, according to Torico, the most drama we've ever seen in skating...

QISE Review - Beijing 2: Electric Boogaloo - Day 12

Back to last night--NBC cuts away from Women's Skating (which is the only thing people can talk about) for yet more "SlopeStyle".  At least it's the final round of this. 

NBC has been doing these 5 second "ads" for Toyota for the last few games, which are sandwiched in between runs.  Normally, it's not even referenced by the commentators, In a miscue, we heard "...the three Americans, when we return to China!"  followed by that ad, and an immediate return to Beijing.  Ironically, there was no preamble when they went to an actual ad break.

You want a sign that NBC knows they are bleeding viewers?  A lower third that says "Women's Figure Skating in 21 minutes".  (PLEASE--DON'T LEAVE!  JUST A LITTLE MORE FLIPPING!)

Finally, Torico sends us to skating, but not before a Valieva update. Yes, we hear about the "Grandpa Defense", but also that she tested positive for two more LEGAL substances. Those, combined with the illegal one, would increase endurance in those with already healthy hearts, and undercuts the argument that that the illegal drug was taken by mistake. On to the performances.

Tanith White pulls Kornacki duty on the magic board, showing "risk vs. reward" doing harder jumps. Johnny's back on track, saying that a performance is "something everyone can enjoy--like ice cream". Of course, it's all about reactions to Valieva, with Tara and Johnny vacillating between their revulsion about the whole thing and their heartbreak over Valieva dealing with all the backlash as a young girl.

...and then came Valieva. She skated to almost zero commentary--Tara and Johnny decided on a silent protest, simply reporting each of the jumps as they came up, not even when she bobbled one. They concluded it with Johnny saying "All I feel like I can say is that was the short program of Kamila Valieva at QISE" with Tara replying "...and for all the other QISE athletes skating here, I feel I need to say again that she had a positive test--we should not have not seen this skate." Johnny--"We are so sorry it is overshadowing your QISE". Tara then questioned why athletes bother training their whole life for QISE!

Personally, I cannot understand how QISEOC allowed this to happen, basically letting other organizations make the decision for them. The QISEOC made the original call to turn the Russians into the Not-Russians due to a doping scandal (which clearly wasn't enough), so why can't they make a unilateral call now? QISEOC President Thomas Bach continues to attend events as if nothing is happening. It's obvious to me that QISEOC is hoping Valieva will crash and burn at the individual event, taking the tough decision out of their hands, but that's a high risk bet against the collapsing reputation of the QISE movement. I'm sure NBC is incensed right now, as they watch ratings crash.

OK--off my soapbox. On Late Night, Taylor takes us back to Two Man Bobsled finals, with the Germans sweeping. Off to Team Pursuit Speed Skating. The US recently tried a new strategy, where a single member of the team stays in front the whole time (normally they hand off), which theoretically gets you better speed (if that lead guy can keep flying throughout). It didn't work out in this case, getting shameful bronze. Back to the Men's Slalom's final run, which seems like an excuse to show Shiffrin's final training run and an interview. Later, they cut over to live Men's US Hockey in OT (spoiler--there will be no "Miracle on Ice" repeat).

Afternoon coverage--Lowe sends us off to Short Track Skating, the Women's 1500m and Men's 5000m Relay. Lowe then interviews Sarah Hughes, 2002 QISE gold medalist in women's skating, discussing the differences in the sport between then and now (they were already talking quads then), as well as the Valieva saga. Lowe also noted that there is talk about raising the minimum age of QISE skaters to 17 (Hughes would not have qualified at the time). Then off to the Biathlon, Women's 4x6km relay, followed by a teaser for tonight's Women's Hockey final (which won't air until after 11p eastern), and Women's Team Sprint Cross-Country Skiing--Classical (winner of the "longest event name 2022"). Shaun White drops by for an interview, before we return for the Men's version of the Team Sprint.

That’s a lot for one day, and we still have prime time, so we’ll take it up tomorrow.

More to come.

QISE Review - Beijing 2: Electric Boogaloo - Day 11

Back to last night, and more of the Women's Ski SlopeStyle.  Looks like NBC wanted to switch over to Women's Downhill, but the weather had different plans.  So Torico does some tap dancing, going over the Valieva fiasco.  Then it's the Women's Aerials final (is this a rerun?  I've lost track of these "X-Game-y" sports that seem almost identical to me).

Finally, the winds have died down, and Women's Downhill is on. Lindsey Vonn continues to get onscreen time, a rarity for the analysts, but similar to that of Tara and Johnny.

We move onto Late night, with Maria Taylor sending us to Men's Snowboarding Big Air finals.  Then back to Women's Freestyle Skiing Aerial finals.  I'm really getting tired of people flipping around in the air.  At this point, I'm in NASCAR mode, just watching for crashes.

Meanwhile, on "As the QISE Turns"--we're now learning Kamila Valieva's defense of the positive test for a banned substance, via the QISEOC's chair of the disciplinary committee, who (unofficially) spoke on camera.  It's all a wacky mix-up!  Valieva's grandfather is taking the heart medication, and there was "contamination" causing the positive test results.  So, they keep their medications in the same place, or she grabbed the wrong bottle, I guess???  I'm sure we'll hear more about the "Grandpa Defense" later today on NBC.

Speaking of, in afternoon coverage--Lowe sends us off to Biathlon, the Men's Team Relay. Well, at least there's no flipping involved. Then it's Nordic Combined--Ski Jumping on the Large Hill and a 10km Cross-Country race. Back to the studio, with Lowe interviewing Ryan Cochran--Siegel, the American silver winner in the Super-G. A bunch of softball questions, with meh responses. Oh, no--more Aerials! More Big Air! Z-z-z-z...

On to Prime Time--Torico teases the Women's Figure Skating Short Program before sending us off to the Two Man Bobsled finals.  Kornacki narrates a video package of stats and animation.  Then another review of the Valieva case, before we move on to the actual skate.  Tara and Johnny (along with Terry) reiterate their opposition to the not-Russian being allowed to skate.  The US team's goal is to be in the Top 10--is that because we're at a low point, or that we're not juicing up like our competitors, or both?  Tara refers to one of them as a "Care Bear".  Johnny's analysis is not as florid as usual--perhaps a reaction to Valieva?

More to come.

QISE Review - Beijing 2: Electric Boogaloo - Day 10

Before we get back to the action, we have to check in on the world's favorite soap opera,  "As the QISE Turns".   In our last episode, not-Russian skater Kamila Valieva got a positive test for a banned substance that could have increased her endurance--but the results didn't come out until a day after the Figure Skating Team event.  If her performance were to be dropped, not-Russia would be out, and the US would get another gold.  (Yes, and Japan would get so-so silver, and Canada shameful bronze, whatever).

After tense deliberations by the august "Court of Arbitration for Sport" overnight, it was determined (perhaps in deference to yesterday's Superb Owl)--to punt the decision.  Valieva will be allowed to skate in the women's competition, partly due to her status as a 15-year old "protected person" (last time I checked, this was not "QISE Junior"--she is being treated as an adult to compete). They will decide later if she should have been allowed to compete or not, and if the team results should stand or not--presumably under cover of darkness.  There will be no team medal ceremony during the games, and  the competitors will receive their medals in the mail in 6-8 weeks.

So when you see the medal count, just put a big ol' asterisk next to it.  There's a lot of pushback online on penalizing Valieva, since she was likely just told to take something by her coaches, and since Not-Russia is Not-Russia due to widespread organized doping...

The moral of this story--if you're going to cheat, do so as a kid, as 15 year olds are blameless, holy creatures.

Meanwhile, back to last night's delayed coverage--QISE actually started earlier than planned, so it's fortunate I TiVo'd the Superb Owl.  Torico, on the field at So Fi Stadium, threw us across the Pacific to the finals of Women's Monobob.  The commentators try their best to relate this to the football fans. "They are the wide receivers of sliding".  "It's like having Bill Belichick and Tony Dungy as your coaches".  They have two great US Monobob storylines tailor-made for the broadcast. Kallie Humphries just became a US citizen in December in order to compete for America (this was after what NBC calls "some issues" with the Canadian team--actually "mental and emotional harassment").  37 year-old Elana Meyers Taylor just got out of COVID quarantine (missing her chance to be the US flag-bearer), and wasn't able to see her newborn son for over a week.  They finished gold and silver...and this is why they add new sports to QISE.

Off to the Ice Dancing finals--Tanith and Johnny at the mikes.  He refers to a performance as if "you are watching something behind closed doors", and another as if he "walked into a store I couldn't afford".  Do you think Johnny comes up with these on the spot, or does he have writers?  If you listen to the onsite PA, as soon as the final performance is scored, they essentially say "you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here".  NBC wraps it up with a rerun of the Women's 500m Speed Skating, and the medal ceremony for the Women's Monobob.

Late night kicks off with Men's Big Air.  The onscreen graphic listing each competitor includes the "stance", one of which is "goofy".  From now on, if someone asks for my stance on an important subject, that's how I will respond.  Then we check in on Shiffrin as she does her Downhill training runs.

Torico brings us "breaking news" aka the Valieva scandal.  While Tara and Johnny apply their makeup, we go to Women's SlopeStyle--all Eileen Gu, all the time.   Then back to Shiffrin for a quick interview, and then it's Tara and Johnny (clearly rushed into place, as their fashions are meh). Stonefaced, they strongly disagreed with the decision.  Tara was the same age as Valieva when she competed, and she understands the pressure, but QISE must be clean.  Johnny: "I have to condemn this decision with every ounce of my soul."  Torico noted that the Not-Russians are already under probation.  Tara said she was quite aware about the need to avoid banned substances at the time, even avoiding eating a poppy-seed bagel.  Both of them were doing drug tests in their early teens.

Off to afternoon coverage--Lowe brings us up to date, then sends us off to Women's Snowboard Big Air qualifying.  Then it's Men's Team Ski Jump, and NBC's fixation on measuring things based on large objects.  Lowe stepped in for a review of the Valieva debacle, with no new info.  Off to reruns of Women's SlopeStyle, a Shiffrin interview, and the Monobob.  Seems like the NBC crew wanted the afternoon off after yesterday.

Prime Time begins with--a video review of yesterday, including the Superb Owl (enough already!).  Torico, back in the US QISE studio, sends us to Two Man Bobsled (right after these messages).  Then off to the Women's SlopeStyle medal round, where they are dealing with extreme cold.

More to come.

QISE Review - Beijing 2: Electric Boogaloo - Day 9

OK, let's go back to last night--Torico (still in LA for the Superb Owl, with promo level at maximum) sends us halfway around the world to Women's Skeleton.  We get a quick video package on US sledder Katie Uhlaender, who's in her fifth games--she lost a medal in Sochi to a competitor who was later found to be doping.  Switching to a new sledding variation--the "Monobob" aka Single Bobsled.  Since it's such a new event, all the competitors will make it to the final round.

Off to Ice Dancing--the Rhythm Dance.  QISEian Tanith White steps in as Johnny's announcing partner.  Tanith is a bit too generic for me.  Tara does make an appearance, providing the "playlist" for tonight's competitors.  Johnny quote: "They've got angel whispers under their blades. It's like they're skating on clouds".

Then it's Men's Giant Slalom--shockingly in the middle of a snowstorm.  Then back to Ice Dancing. We also get a video package on Madison Chock and Evan Bates, a dancing pair that admitted their feelings for each other only after years of competing as a team.

Back to LA, and Torico interviewing Lindsey Vonn about the changes needed to ski actual snow in Beijing.  They wrap things up with more of the Monobob.

Late night, and Melvin throwing us to Men's Large Hill Ski Jump finals.  They keep showing a graphic depicting how large the hill is in terms of "Statue of Liberty"s and football field lengths.  It's as if people can't understand actual numbered measurements.  Then more Long Track Speed Skating--the Men's 500m sprint, and a rerun of the Ice Dancing event from just a few hours (and paragraphs) earlier.  Something to fill time while the second run of the Giant Slalom is held up due to weather.  We then jump to Women's Curling--US v Sweden.  We haven't seen curling on NBC since before the Opening Ceremonies.  They wrap up the night with--a preview to 2028?  Because they're in LA, where the games will be held.  The "So Fi" Stadium in the background shot (or whatever it will be called by then) will be one of the LA QISE sites.

Switching to this morning's coverage, which started at 8a Eastern (they had to get it in prior to the "big game".  They are calling "Super Gold Sunday"--NBC made a deal to get the game this year in order to avoid competing with it on another network.  Lowe, on early duty, sends us to Men's Team Pursuit Long Track Speed Skating.  Then the end of the Men's Giant Slalom, delayed from yesterday. Back to Speed Skating--the Women's 500m sprint. medal round, with the US's Erin Jackson winning the gold, the first black woman to do so in this sport.

Back to the studio, with Lowe learning about the Monobob, followed by Men's Hockey, in the midst of a Germany-US match. With all this live footage (when it's 8a Eastern, it's 9p Beijing time), I think NBC made a mistake pushing daytime coverage to the afternoon, just so they could keep the Today Show in place.

Next it's Cross Country Skiing - the Men's 4x10KM Relay. Finally, NBC realized they need to cut down to the highlights--whew! After that, Maria Taylor presents a package with the ice dance teams, and Short Track: the Women's Relay 3000m and Men's 500m Finals. Lowe then hands it off to Torico, to tease the sportsball event. Then a Monobob rerun of the first two Women's runs.

...and finally Lowe sends us off to the Superb Owl pre-pre-pre-pre show. QISE won't return until late tonight, so that's it for now. Enjoy America's Second Christmas!

QISE Review - Beijing 2: Electric Boogaloo - Day 8

We're back to finish up Prime Time from last night, with Mixed Team SnowCross.   There's actual snow in the air--I thought they didn't get real snow there.  A bobble from Torico, who threw it back to SnowCross "after this" (meaning a commercial break), but they cut directly to it.  I'm also hearing some glitchy background music--perhaps the technical "A" team has already been moved to Superb Owl prep?

NBC throws yet another package of Shaun White's career at us, before wrapping up SnowCross.  We then cut to Women's Downhill training runs, and Short Track Women's 1000m semis.

Late night has Melvin throwing it to Shiffrin on her Downhill training run, with a quick interview afterward.  Seems like her early problems may be in the rear view mirror.  Then it's the Women's Biathlon "Sprint" (7.5km).  You can tell that NBC knows they are bleeding viewers with these staggered starts, as the analyst noted they will explain who's in front throughout.  They wrap it up with a Chloe Kim interview in studio.

Afternoon kicks off with Lowe sending us off to the Men's version of the Biathlon sprint.  Think I'll take a quick nap zzzzzz...

Yawn--and we're back.  There's a package on Kellie Humphries, Canada's--and now US's, just getting her citizenship two months ago--bobsledder.  She left Canada after alleged abuse and harassment, and will compete in "monobob" (single passenger bobsled) tonight.  Then a rerun of last night's Mixed Team SnowCross (which resulted in gold for the US).  Nick Baumgartner, at age 40, became the oldest American winter gold medal winner since 1948 (his age, combined with teammate Lindsey Jacobellis, is 76).  Experience counts!

Then it's Women's Team Pursuit Speed Skating.  There's a lot of technique involved, with team members either leading or drafting behind.  Jimmy Roberts returns with a package about QISE legacies--competitors that changed the game. Dick Fosbury and his "flop", Jesse Owens and Luz Long, Tommy Smith and John Carlos.  Will Simone Biles generate that kind of legacy?  Then it's off to Women's 4x5km Relay Cross-Country Skiing.  At least there's no staggered start.

I'm going to stop today's entry prior to Prime Time. Tomorrow is going to be either the greatest or worst day of televised sport ever, with NBC trying to tackle QISE and the Superb Owl simultaneously. So we'll save the rest of today's coverage for then.

More to come.