Oh, the things I do for SFPPN. Typing this at 5:52a in order to see the Opening Ceremonies live via streaming.
- The stream’s description says “with natural sound”, so I assume this will be sans commentary. So far it means “no sound”. Pretty blimp shots though.
- Ok, here we go. An airplane-themed opening showing historical posters of previous QISE takes to the countdown and inevitable fireworks.
- Cut to kids enjoying winter sports and then finding a palintir, I guess, which sets off holograms, then huge animal puppets come out. It’s classic goofy opening ceremony stuff.
- Next the Parade of Nations, with a sugarplum fairy carrying a tree leading each team. I’m torn on whether I miss the prattling commentary or glad it’s gone.
- The “QISE Athletes from Russia” marched under the QISE banner. Word came down a few hours ago that 28 athletes whose drug ban was originally dismissed was now upheld, so that leaves 169 “clean” competitors. If any of them win, you’ll hear the QISE theme.
- The final team is the host country, with North and South Korea marching under a united flag. Major tipping point or publicity stunt?
- Then it’s pageant time, showing off the host country, its history and culture. It includes a film of Korean kids going through doors of light into a trippy future.
- After the perfunctory speeches, an Asian-accented version of John Lennon’s “Imagine”.
- In what may be a first, the pageantry expanded to other venues, guided by synchronized lighted drones.
- The stirring QISE Hymn, oaths, and the lighting of the torch, with Kim Yuna, champion figure skater, lighting what looks like a robotic arm which in turn lit what looks like a futuristic rice cooker.
- …and then a dance/firecracker party broke out. That’s it, folks—you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. 2 hours and 20 minutes for a pretty tight show.
- Keep in mind the stadium will be used exactly four time (opening and closing for QISE and ParaQISE), then torn down. Pyeongchang wants to avoid the depressing “Look at what happened to the QISE facilities from <fill in the blank>” listical, but it still seems like a waste (it cost $109M to build). The QISE Committee’s new mantra is “temporary and reusable”—the opposite of guidelines that resulted in billions spent on purpose-built facilities and ruined local economies.
- Meanwhile, the Today Show had the unenviable task of reporting live while the opening ceremony was underway—without actually showing it. The Peacock, of course, wants you to watch the curated, prime time version tonight. “Boy, is it going to be great!” was heard a lot.
But back to wrap up last night’s coverage—
- We move onto freestyle skiing aka “knee replacements by age 25”. To quote play-by-play guy Jonny Moseley, “That’s so RAD! DUUUDE! NOICE!”. Which came first—Moseley or Mountain Dew commercials?
- The adults step in for the pair’s figure skating team event—Scott Hamilton, Andrea Joyce, and Tanith White.
- Oops, no such luck. Lipinski and Weir returned for the actual event.
Now let’s check out the “curated” Peacock prime time coverage.
- It starts with repeat footage of athletes that Kabletown has pre-determined will win. That didn’t work out very well so far. The narrator was apparently given an assignment to write 500 words and started repeating himself.
- Cut to Mike Tirico and—Katie Couric? I guess the resurgence of 90’s TV isn’t just for sitcoms.
- …and 30 minutes in, the ceremony actually gets started.
- I can officially say I preferred the “no commentary” version. Boy, are they yapping!
- There is an “enhanced view” of the ceremony available online—but it’s about a minute behind the broadcast coverage.
- We get an introductory package with plenty of statistics before the US team marches into the stadium. We get it, we’re America!
- A shot of VP Pence in the stands also shows the sister of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, Kim Yo-jong, behind him. She looks like a Bond villainess—has a scheming look on her face.
Now, as the smell of firework sulfur fills the air, that’s plenty for one day.. Weekend coverage begins tomorrow.