And we’re off for the 2024 Paris Quadrennial International Sporting Event!
We begin early, with the TODAY gang. Sabotage of France’s high speed rail didn't temper the enthusiasm of the Bobbsey Twins aka Savannah and Hoda. They hyped the big events--gymnastics, soccer/futbol, swimming, and of course Team USA. They kept saying that coverage begins at 7:30p, but...
At 12 noon, Kabletown kicked off 90 minutes of pre-game before the Opening Ceremonies of the 33rd QISE. Longtime anchor Mike Tirico, along with QISE neophytes Peyton Manning and Kelly Clarkson (synergy!) hand off to Rebecca Lowe and Ahmed Fareed in a faux-Parisian apartment/studio. Get used to seeing a LOT of the Eiffel Tower. Maria Taylor reported from USA's barge (if you haven't heard, the traditional "March of Nations" has been replaced by a river cruise. Melissa Stark checked in from the "red carpet" with celebrity attendees.
More previews--Simone Biles, Noah Lyles, athletes getting on their barges, Parisians with subtitles, Keir Simmons covering the security effort (45K safety personnel), Mary Carillo talking escargot, Steve Kornacki on stats--basically, a lot of tap-dancing to get to the opening.
Finally--a cinematic sequence kicks things off, with the torch moving through Paree. The embattled Frence President Macron is introduced on a late and rainy afternoon as the Flotilla of Nations begins, some sharing a ship. The primary way for the anchors to fill the time--national trivia--has been jettisoned. Tirico does note that the Seine is currently too polluted for swimming (e-coli) so there's a lot of praying that things change before river-centric events begin next week. I'm guessing Kelly and Peyton are reading from a script.
In a callback to the Macy's Parade, there's interruptions for musical performances. Lady Gaga does a French number with a full orchestra and dancers. Can-can dancers (who didn't seem particularly coordinated) perform their kicks on the banks. There's another dance high atop the still being reconstructed Notre Dame. A costumed figure in a hood parkours across rooftops and zooms across ziplines with the torch. There's a tribute to Louis Vuitton, and people dancing in a fountain. The hood guy (?) checks out a performance of Les Miz. There's "heavy metal" and fire at a castle, featuring dozens of beheaded Lady Antoinettes, followed by a sequence implying menage a trois at a library.
A French pop singer and a marching band segue to a chase through the Leuvre--and we're back to the boats, now in a rainstorm. Apparently, this disrupted things enough for commercial breaks, despite a promise to avoid them, thanks to a bunch of well-heeled sponsors. The Bobbsey Twins have taken over coverage--Sacre Bleu, the Mona Lisa is gone! I never fully trusted Savannah.
Now Mr. Hood is on a cartoony hot air balloon--and in an unwanted moment of synergy, here come the Minions in a sub. They've got the painting, but not for long. A French singer belts out the French national anthem from a rooftop. Statues of famous French women pop up, along with some of the newer sports performed on the soggy river banks. Then it’s a French rapper, followed by a fashion show. Tirico, always with the stats, notes that this is the first rainy opening ceremony since 1952--seems like he’s pulling a rain-related audible on such things.
And finally, Team USA, getting their own boat, followed by the host nation. We cut to Tahiti for a moment (where the surfing competition will be held), and back to Mr. Hood--and more dancing. “Imagine” is performed on the water (”...imagine there’s no countries...”--wouldn’t that eliminate the Games?) Looks like the piano is on fire. Hey, the Hood is back--and he’s got the QISE flag (wearing it like a cape), riding a robot horse on the water. There's a montage of QISE history (vamping until the athletes and flags get in place). After an angonizing amount of time, the horse, rider, and flag arrive. The real flag (which never got wet) is raised as the QISE anthem is played.
A few stuffy speeches later, the torch relay ends with a trip back down the Seine with QISE legends including Carl Lewis and Nadia Comaneci, motoring directly under the Bobbsey Twins bridge. After apparently every French QISEian has a shot at the torch, the final handoff winds up at--a hot air balloon with the cauldron at the base. Celine Dion sings us off, standing on the Eiffel Tower.
The big question--what happened to the Hood? Maybe we'll learn more in the Closing Ceremonies.
Moving onto prime time, which is mostly a (hopefully edited) rerun of the opening. We did get a Spielberg-produced film which was remarkably...generic.
Enough for one day. Tomorrow, the games begin in earnest.
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