QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day 7

Starting with the previous night...

• Women’s gymnastics, as always, is turned into a soap opera by the Peacock. “Will Simone find success? Will Aly triumph over adversity? Tune in after the break!"
• Also, is Al Traugwig a dog in disguise? I clearly heard him say “woof” at one point during a bad routine.
• You know, I’m DVRing all of this, which means I take the risk of missing something when they run late. Such is the case of the women’s gymnastics award ceremony, which cut off just as they got on the podium. Why did this run late?  It wasn’t live—I thought that was the whole reason the Peacock wanted to “curate” this?  This was a cynical move to bump ratings for the local news that followed it.  Oh well—I can see it online...
• Trampolining is similar to bowling, in that you start thinking to yourself “I could perform at that level if I practiced enough”.  Then you see how high they go—so maybe not.
• That thudding sound you might have heard this afternoon was the Peacock’s ratings crashing to the ground after the US women were eliminated in the soccer tournament.
• Just when I thought we would never see a podium ceremony where the Stars and Stripes were not played, here comes the Men’s 100m Butterfly. Of course, it might have been because Phelps got a silver (shared with two others).

More to come.

QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day 6

Starting with the previous night...

• Everybody get on the Michael Phelps hype train—right, Peacock!  It’s impressive that he’s doing so well, but they don’t need to make it into a soap opera.
• Tim Daggett - unbiased gymnastics color commentator during a US men’s routine: “Uhhh, booyy”
• I normally try to skip commercials, but I’m enjoying the Nike ad where the athletes get out of control and the announcer tries to talk them down.
• Would someone explain the bizarre QISE/Star Wars promotion?  Are the Rebels going for the gold? Is Michael Phelps a Jedi? This is a major misfire.
• Speaking of Phelps—the hype machine is now white hot. “The last time for Michael Phelps!!!” I’m pretty sure they said that in London.
• Hey Peacock—there’s already enough swimming without showing semi-finals in prime time...

More to come.

QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day 5

Starting with the previous night--

• …and here’s why gymnastics was “curated” and not live. It allowed the Peacock to split it out and show the finale near 10:30p Eastern, dragging the audience through endless swimming rounds.
• I’m sure the Peacock doesn’t want to annoy the host city, but I’m hearing very little about the bizarre green water in the diving pool. Other sources are showing a second pool across from it with a normal blue color. Officials are saying it’s fine, but the literal optics are bad, considering the concerns over polluted water in the open water events.  I’m no chemist, but I bet this could be easily fixed.
• I always enjoy Jimmy Roberts' taped reports. In a sea of hype about the big stars, he covers small stories that are often quite touching. He did one today about a US kayaker born in Poland who could have easily played for their team but chose to go the harder route and get a spot on the US squad
• The Peacock can’t seem to catch a break. Poor weather in Rio resulted in a signature prime time event—women’s beach volleyball—with the athletes wearing more clothing than they would like.
• The danger of Peacock commentators concentrating on the US team? Not noticing the guy from Kazakhstan winning the Men’s 200m Breaststroke.

More to come.

QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day 4

Starting with the previous night--

• Due to either luck or design, the “lower third” graphics in the Men’s Synchronized Swimming, combined with their small swimsuits, made it look like we were watching Skinemax for awhile.
• I see that the Peacock decided to bury the Men’s Gymnastics implosion late into the evening.
• OMG - HOW MANY TIMES WILL THEY SHOW US MICHAEL PHELPS' MEAN FACE???
• If the women's gymnastics finals looked a little slicker than some of the other competitions, that's because it was "curated" and not live.  The results were announced on social media before the broadcast even began.
• The gymnasts always have some makeup, but at the finals, it appears a paintball gun was involved.
• In a toss-up women’s swim that was hyped endlessly, the Peacock put up a split screen of the swimmers at the start and Michael Phelps sitting in a chair. One of these is more interesting than the other...

More to come...

QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day 3

Starting with the previous night--

• Why are these events being scheduled so late?  Keep in mind Rio is an hour later than Eastern time. Phelps’ relay swim was held around midnight local time—that’s ridiculous.
• Rowdy Gaines’ swimming commentary is a paradox, giving gentle advice while he screams. “HE NEEDS TO CALM DOWN!!! PACE YOURSELF!!! DON’T OVER-SWIM IT!!!!"
• Can’t say I’m impressed by the Peacock’s audio work. There’s a lot of chatter in the background that is clearly caused by hot mikes that need to be muted.
• I’m scanning through the Today Show to see how they are doing. They had a segment that featured the gals ogling the Tonga flag holder. At one point, the rubbed oil on him. Really? For a “news” show?
• Also in the category of “something for the ladies”—during the men’s synchronized swimming, the Peacock seems to be spending a lot of time showing the competitors showering off between dives...
• I guess society’s lack of civility has even made it to QISE.  As a result of the Russian doping scandal, swimmer Yulia Efimova was audibly booed before her race.  I can’t remember that happening before.

More to come.

QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day 2

We’re starting with the previous night...

• In an awkward moment for both QISE and the Peacock, the Switzerland / China beach volleyball match ended in a dispute call. Then, Costas threw to an unrelated Tom Brokaw piece which got interrupted 30 seconds in when the judge’s decision was reversed and play continued for another minute.  This forced Costas into a “do-over” introduction.
• Ryan Seacrest then took over at the MTV Beach Pa—sorry, QISE Late Night.  He was joined by two supermodels for some reason—it’s like Sabato Gigante: US Edition.  Ryan’s lack of height is really emphasized next to them.
• The Peacock commentators are always biased for the home team, but Tim Daggett on gymnastics is beyond the pale. He routinely dismisses US errors, but listen for the “oohs” and sucking in of breath when other counties make a boo-boo.
• The daytime team of Mike Tirico, Dan Patrick, and Al Michaels (with one handing off to another relay style) don’t seem to have much to do: “That was cycling, onto volleyball…"
• What is the obsession of QISE host cities with building outdoor diving facilities?  You can clearly hear police sirens in the background, which I doubt helps the concentration of the athletes.
• Women’s gymnastics is underway—let the “up close and personals” commence! Sequins as far as the eye can see! Unbridled hype!
• In a bizarre cross-promotion, Olympic clips were mixed into an ad for the next Star Wars movie—huh?

More tomorrow.

QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day 1

In the first full day of competition (again, not counting the three days of soccer and archery)...

• Al Michaels kicks it off, looking like he just got off the tour bus after a business conference.
• Rowing camera coverage seems a bit better than before, with multiple angles thanks to cameras mounted to overhead cables.
• It was mentioned that there were hand sanitizers for the open water competitors, due to concerns with water quality and bacteria.  Based on the alarming nature of the news stories, I would be asking for a Silkwood shower.
• The US got their first gold medal in the games in the Air Rifle competition.  I’m guessing other countries are thinking “of course the US is good at shooting things”.
• Costas is back at the Rio Apple Store in prime time, handing us off to Men’s Gymnastics.  If you’re looking for breathless commentary, you’re in the right place.
• Are they separately miking the gym equipment?  There’s a lot of banging and creaking going on.
• Ugh—Michael Phelps is a great swimmer, we get it!  Can we move on?

Speaking of moving on—more tomorrow.

QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day Zero

First off—why “day zero”? Because it’s QISE tradition that the opening ceremony is on Day Zero, which begins the whole shebang. (Never mind that early rounds of soccer and the entire archery competition is over.)

Okay, so Day Zero...

• The network has waited since the 1996 Atlanta Games to show the event live in the Eastern Time Zone. With Rio in the Atlantic Zone (only one hour off), it’s all live, all the time, right?  Well mostly—the Opening Ceremony and gymnastics will be “curated” and shown “slightly" later.  Translation: edited within an inch of it’s life in order to jam in more ads.
• Many of the Peacock family are missing the big show due to concerns over the Zika virus.  Savannah Guthrie and Dylan Dreyer of the Today Show are both pregnant so they stayed home.  For any on-air talent of child-bearing age in Rio now—how exactly did you explain it to your significant other?  “Sorry, honey, it’s my big break!"
• This leaves old fogies Lauer, Vieira, and Kotb to host the Opening Ceremony, with Costas standing by at what I’m calling the Rio Apple Store.
• So, the ceremony—it wouldn’t be QISE without extras from Tron holding aluminum pillows, creepy puppets, the history of the host country via a Cirque du Soleil routine, the cast of Solid Gold, and multicolored Cousin Itts.
• In an unusual move, Rio QISE decided to include an educational message about global climate change. Fox News viewers—avert your eyes.
• In the Parade of Nations, when they mentioned concerns about Germany, I immediately thought of “The Boys from Brazil”. Nope—just a previous soccer loss.

Tomorrow—the Games truly get underway.

Quadrennial International Sporting Event (QISE) Review - Rio Edition - Day Negative 1

Citius, Altius, Zikius.

It seems like only two years ago when I covered QISE for the last Winter Games, but here we are again.  (I am avoiding the O-word as to not annoy the QISE Organizing Committee’s attorneys).  As before, I will concentrate on the spectacle and media over the actual events—you can get coverage for that anywhere.  It’s all about the ceremony, the histrionics, the commercials, and how the Peacock network, desperate for a hit, can pull in the viewers.

We are still cord cutters, so the 260 hours of network coverage will have to suffice, along with whatever online stuff I can get. There’s also social networks, which have only become more powerful.

You can expect controversies and scandals surrounding any QISE, but we have a bumper crop in Rio.  The Zika virus, polluted water, unfit athlete housing, rampant crime, a failing local economy, plus the normal corruption that seems to follow the event.  Let’s see if they can pull it off.

Tomorrow—let the games begin! (I know some events have already started, but…)

Southern Sweep - Day 9 and Wrap Up

Like most vacations, it's great to visit, but it's nicer to get home. Unfortunately, we left the longest drive for the last day--Memphis to Columbus.  So no pics for today--it would be a lot of freeways and construction.

We stopped at a very pretty Starbucks in Jackson, TN that might be the least organized location in their chain. You would think if you were paying by phone and knew exactly what you wanted, it would be easy. However, we got a barrista who I assume was a trainee and didn't know how a register worked, that "rewards" could be redeemed, or how to complete an order.  I think we could have made the breakfast sandwiches and coffee at the side of the road more quickly. We knew there was a problem when two of the same order appeared.  They were nice--just untrained.

I drove, Mindy drove, the other dozed in the car, drive, drive, drive--repeat.

The temperature dropped as we went, forcing us to hit a rest stop and change from shorts to pants.

We stopped at a Skyline Chili in the Cincinnati area (if you haven't had their 3-way, stop reading and drive to Cincinnati), and we ordred, were served, ate, paid, and left in less time than the Starbucks order took.

As nightime arrived, we made it to the Schmidbauer homestead.

Overall, the trip was a lot of fun, we got to see our nieces, ate some great food, and saw giant animals. What's not to like?  We're discussing a Western Sweep next--but first some sleep in our own bed.

Southern Sweep - Day 8

Niece #3 - Betsy, who lives on the Texas side of Texarkana with her husband Kai and two kids.  We got a picture to document the event just outside the IHOP.

Back on the road--and a chance to stand astride two states. The county courthouse was built on the border to save money--go to the left for Texas cases, and to the right for Arkansas cases.

On the way to Memphis, we stopped at the biggest scam since the casino--the Crater of Diamonds State Park.

Site of an ancient volcano, they offer the chance to dig through a field for real diamonds--at only $8 plus the cost of shovels, buckets, etc.  It drew a decent crowd, including us.

We made it to Memphis in time for BBQ at the legendary Germantown Commissary.

The pile of meat in a bowl? That's a salad.

Logy and tired, we made it to the hotel. 

Tomorrow--driving, driving, driving, and wrapping it up.

Southern Sweep - Day 7

First off, more donuts--this time at Glazed. We joined Maggie and her friend Cade for the feast.

Before we left, we got a chance to tour the athletic facilities at McNeese.

Then off to Shreveport--and the mysterious Giant Dalmation. At night, you can change the color of the dog's spots.

Then, in the outskirts of Texarkana, in Fouke, AR, a celebrity sighting. MST3K's own Boogy Creek Monster!

We then followed the GPS to the hotel right on the state line with Texas. Unfortunately, there were two of the same hotel chain there, straddling the border. Once that was straightened out, we hit the hay.

Tomorrow--one more niece, diamonds, and meat.

Southern Sweep - Day 6

A late day to start--but Mindy got her donuts (Louisiana is crazy about them).

Then off to a McNeese tour

Then down to the shores of Lake Charles--very pretty and restful

Did I mention restful?

Off to the glitter of Lake Charles' casinos! I would put them at mid-Vegas level.  We hit a few slots and walked around.

And if the hotel rooms aren't big enough (actually docked at the casino)...

Finally, we moved onto a local Maxican joint for dinner.

Tomorrow--more donuts, giant dogs, and look out for the monster!

Southern Sweep - Day 5

We drove over to Avery Island, home to Tobasco.   This is the sole factory that makes 700,000 bottles/day for 150 countries.  Based on how complicated the process is, Tobasco should cost $500 a bottle.

I do enjoy Tabasco on my crumpets...

Then, a drive over to Lake Charles and McNeese State University, where our niece Maggie is a goalie on the soccer team.

She took us to Steamboat Bill's, a famed seafood place.  Be ready to order at the counter, then sit down and they bring a pile of fish over.

Tomorrow--donuts, a campus tour, and Viva Lake Charles!

Southern Sweep - Day 4

Started late--off to the deep South.

Mississippi--a lot of this out the window...

Then these--Palmettos?  Nope, it's "pinus palustris".

Can you tell that Mindy drove today?

Finally Louisiana--and Lake Ponchatrain.  This is a very long and impressive bridge.

Then N'awlins. The French Quarter seems very run down. Mindy referred to it as "creepy". We were tired and so we decided to move on to Lafayette, LA for the night.

Tomorrow - Hot Sauce, Lake Charles, and niece #2.

Southern Sweep - Day 3

We began our first full Tuscaloosa day at City Grille, and a huge breakfast.  Grits, eggs, sausages, biscuits...

 

Yes, those are grits. Anything that's half butter can't be bad.

The review said the breakfast was dynamite, and I have to agree.

Then a jaunt out to a place called "Pie Lab"--which was unfortunately closed.

On the way back, we stopped at the Moundville Archeological Park

 

Back at 'Bama, and the world's second largest Starbucks at the Student Union

  

Two more pics at the University...

 

We stopped at Steel City Pops--an artisinal popsicle store. I had Pumpkin, while Mindy had Cherry Sour Cream.

Later we had dinner with Abby and her friend Will at an Irish pub. We were worn out, so it's off to bed.

Tomorrow--sleeping in, lots of driving, and a loooonng bridge.

 

Southern Sweep - Day 2

We drove into Nashville and the GPS sent us straight into Titans tailgating--wasn't sure if we would get out, since we kept being directed back into the fray.

We finally made it over to Broadway (the touristy area).

They make boots big in Tennessee

An Elvis sighting

Various signage

Goo-Goo-Goodness

 

We then took a quick jaunt to Greece--no,no.  There's an exact copy of the Parthenon in Nashville.

 

Of course, no trip would be complete without a giant chicken with a chef hat (Elkton, TN)

 

Onto Tuscaloosa!

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

Then we tried to remove the tusks. The tusks. That's not so easy to say. Tusks.

You try it some time. As I say, we tried to remove the tusks.

But they were embedded so firmly we couldn't budge them.

Of course, in Alabama the Tuscaloosa,

but that is entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking about.

Groucho in Animal Crackers (Movie)

Abby gave us a tour of the University of Alabama--Roll Tide! 

We also went down to the boat dock (Abby's on the rowing team)

Finally, we took Abby out to a BBQ place—decent food plus cheesy muffins! We’re still in “vinegary” sauce territory though.

 

Tomorrow - Southern food, lack of pies, and more 'Bama.

Southern Sweep - Day 1

We've been talking forever about taking a drive through the deep south. We have three nieces who are attending schools and/or living in Alabama, Louisiana, and Texas respectively. We decided to get off our duff and do it before they graduate.  

We left around 8:30 from Columbus, which got us to Louisville in time for lunch. We stopped at the "Frankfort Ave Beer Depot and Smokehouse", a hole in the wall place with decent online reviews.  Mindy wanted to try the "Hillbilly Wontons" appetizer, but they were out. We ended up with our third choice, the fried green beans. The brsket sandwich was unremarkable, if small.  The baked beans had a lot of smoke and bourbon flavor, and the sauce was vinegary as expected.  Probably wouldn't return--more atmosphere than taste.

We later stopped at Mammoth Cave, but didn't go in (tours were booked, plus there's a bat fungus issue we would rather avoid).

But we couldn't miss...

We later stopped to borrow some WiFi and book a room--Mindy's sister Amy had just come in to see her daughter Abby's game (she's on the rowing team), so we spent some time simultaneously searching websites and texting. Turned out almost everything was booked, but we found a place with two rooms fairly close--ended up being across the street.

Met up with Amy and her husband Don, hit up a Mexican place--again across the street--and hit the hay.

Tomorrow--Nashville, Goo-Goo, a monument on the wrong continent, a giant chicken, and 'Bama.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 16 and the Closing Ceremony

We’re into the final day of competition, but first let’s catch up on last night…

• Another video package?? At least this one is about a current athlete—Steve Holcomb’s experimental vision surgery that saved his career.
• Ski announcer Todd Brooker on Ted Ligety’s failed slalom run: “A lot of mistakes at the start...not a really good way to get going.” Thanks for that expert commentary.
• We got an “agony of defeat” moment from one of the Canadian Bobsled teams—they rolled their sled in a turn, then slid mostly upside down for the rest of the course. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt.

Coming around the clubhouse turn...

• We begin with more Hockey—in this case, the gold medal game. After a half hour pre-game, it’s time for more fast forwarding.
• Al Michaels is kicked out of the Fortress on his last day in favor of Dan Patrick. Perhaps he had a plane to catch.
• Prime time begins with—a documentary about the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding debacle. I think it’s extremely cynical for the Peacock to produce this travesty which looks like it was lifted from Inside Edition.
• Ah—Michaels was pulled from afternoon coverage so he could host the Closing Ceremony along with Cris Collinsworth, both comfortable covering sports on Sunday night. Not the people I would pick to describe a mostly artistic presentation. Fortunately, Pozner came along for the ride.
• The Closing Ceremony begins with—aw, not the little girl again!
• Vertical fluorescent bulbs, a boat in the air, and people running wearing tinsel clothing—you figure it out. It is a cool effect, though.
• The US athletes wisely chose to change out of their ugly Chistmas sweaters for their final appearance.
• After the QISE flag handoff, we get the South Korean presentation. Very pretty, if perplexing—human birds, trees of light…
• As the QISE flame goes out, the Russkies close out the ceremony with some big-ass mirrors and giant mascots in the stadium. Is this weird enough for you, folks?

Well, that about does it. See you in Rio!

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 15

Catching up from last night…

• Speed Skating Team Pursuit is another one of these silly sports where you follow closely behind another skater and “draft” the leader. The whiny US team quickly lost—leaving them with zero medals in the disclpine.
• We also got the final of Short Track Speed Skating, which determines the fastest man and woman on ice!* Viktor Ahn was the big winner for Russia**

*who doesn’t crash or is taken out by another skater
**since the South Korean Skating Federation pissed him off, so he defected

Moving onto Saturday’s coverage…

• …and Al Michaels checks in at the Fortress for the last weekend.
• NBC showed a 45 minute documentary on a Russian hockey team that died in a plane crash. Wow—how upbeat. You didn’t have some Curling on tape? Maybe some lower-ranked figure skaters you previously edited out?
• Prime time begins with—another video package that has virtually nothing to do with QISE. A paraplegic swimmer finds her roots in Russia. Nice, but have we run out of events?
• After a few sports odds and ends, NBC shows an interview with new QISE President Thomas Bach. Clearing out the tape vault, apparently.
• He doesn’t want to talk about Russia’s civil rights record—I was reminded of a line from Monty Python—“This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let’s not argue and bicker about who killed who…"
• At least we get the Figure Skating exhibition—with Lipinski and Weir (wearing weeds in their hair) doing the commentary.  The exhibition is basically an audition for the Ice Capades.

One more day to go...